1. Posted: April 19, 2016In:

    A Talent Agency for Dogs struggles to find a dog for an important German beer commercial.

    Best Answer
    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    If it is an ensemble try something like: A boss mid divorce, a secretary who wants to come out and a cast director who wants to quit struggle with their problems and trying to find a dog for a massive beer advert. Not great but how I may approach it.

    If it is an ensemble try something like:

    A boss mid divorce, a secretary who wants to come out and a cast director who wants to quit struggle with their problems and trying to find a dog for a massive beer advert.

    Not great but how I may approach it.

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  2. Posted: April 15, 2016In:

    Davis Scott, a quirky southern photographer, and her band of off the wall thirty something friends struggle to survive unwanted dick pics, getting spat on during a date, and ridiculous pick up lines in order to find love in the jungles of Los Angeles.

    dpg Singularity

    >This is a logline for a sitcom pilot. Oh. Nir Shelter is certainly right that you will have to produce a pilot script to sell the series and that script needs to introduce interesting and conflicted characters & relationships & set up a dramatic problem that promise plenty of ?interestinRead more

    >This is a logline for a sitcom pilot.

    Oh.

    Nir Shelter is certainly right that you will have to produce a pilot script to sell the series and that script needs to introduce interesting and conflicted characters & relationships & set up a dramatic problem that promise plenty of ?interesting stories week in week out. ?Consider the logline for the highly acclaimed and highly rated series, “Breaking Bad”:

    When a milquetoast chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he starts cooking crack to pay for his medical bills and provide for his wife after his death.

    And that’s just for the pilot episode. ?In 28 words it sets up a ?problem for the main character that promised plenty of complications and conflicts in ensuing episodes. ?And delivered for 62 episodes.

    I think your logline has one essential ingredient that promises plenty of comedy– the social milieu of contemporary L.A. ? But consider the real possibility that you are not the only writer developing a comedy series that promises plenty of comedy about 20/30-something women ?pursuing love in a modern urban social environment. Like L.A. ?What is there about your concept as evidenced in the logline ?for a pilot script that makes it stand out from all the rest?

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  3. Posted: April 9, 2016In:

    When an entire town gets a virus from the trial of a brain-activated smart phone, a self-righteous hippy must stop the company and shut down the trial.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    I agree with Sumi that there's a potential for a lot of comedy if the premise is reverse engineering? "virus" such ?that the smart phone is literally infecting people with a virus.? (Although, I suggest that the culprit?be a? popular,? seductive ?smart phone app rather than a defective OS).? But thaRead more

    I agree with Sumi that there’s a potential for a lot of comedy if the premise is reverse engineering? “virus” such ?that the smart phone is literally infecting people with a virus.? (Although, I suggest that the culprit?be a? popular,? seductive ?smart phone app rather than a defective OS).? But that needs to be stated with greater clarity.

    And I think his other questions are pertinent.? And what does the hippy being self-righteous as a character flaw bring to the dramatic problem of the virus infection?? The character flaw should be?relevant?to the dramatic problem such that until the flaw is recognized and overcome, the character cannot solve the dramatic problem.? That’s the dramatic purpose of a character flaw , to create suspense,?doubt and uncertainty that the character can succeed.?How does being self-righteous make the hippy unable to cure the viral infection?

    To repeat, I think the premise is a rough gem that needs a polish.

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