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When divorced businessman Mr Barton enquires about a hotel?s pay TV service he becomes frustrated by an annoying receptionist with an obsession for popcorn and the Adult Channel.
Is this for a short, or a feature length film?? As Nir Shelter said, it's kind of thin in terms of the basic elements for a logline.
Is this for a short, or a feature length film?? As Nir Shelter said, it’s kind of thin in terms of the basic elements for a logline.
See lessA farmer and his young daughter helps a talking cow reach the corporate security of a fried chicken franchise while being hunted by assassins hired by the cattleman’s association.
Agreed with the above. The main character could either be the farmer or cow, as a result the plot is unclear. If the MC is the farmer then his goal is to help the cow, but if the MC is the cow then its goal is to reach the fried chicken franchise. Aside from the lack of clarity about the MC, the assRead more
Agreed with the above.
The main character could either be the farmer or cow, as a result the plot is unclear. If the MC is the farmer then his goal is to help the cow, but if the MC is the cow then its goal is to reach the fried chicken franchise.
Aside from the lack of clarity about the MC, the assassins feel like an unnecessary addition put in to increase the stakes. While this is needed, seeing as the stakes are low without it, there is no clear logical connection because the stakes and goal due to lack of a cause end effect relationship.
Lastly why do any of the characters NEED to do what ever it is they are doing now? The logline lacks an inciting incident in other words, it lacks the event that pushed the main character to go on a journey.
See lessWhen a young fantasy writer encounters a bad boy erotic fiction author, she must learn to escape her fantasy world to revel in her new reality.
Agreed with the above comment. In addition, what is it that the main character needs to do? As learn to escape is a vague description of the story's main action. To learn is an inner process and will not make for a very good cinematic action, the logline needs a specific objective that she would neeRead more
Agreed with the above comment.
In addition, what is it that the main character needs to do? As learn to escape is a vague description of the story’s main action.
See lessTo learn is an inner process and will not make for a very good cinematic action, the logline needs a specific objective that she would need to achieve which will clearly indicate that she has successfully learned a lesson.