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  1. Posted: April 1, 2020In: Comedy

    After a lawyer accidentally sends a homosexual email to his client who then tries to have him disbarred, the lawyer must convince the authorities, in a politically correct way, that he is straight.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 1, 2020 at 9:10 am

    When and where is the story set?? Isn't sexual orientation a non-issue in most modern countries these days?? (Ergo, certainly not grounds for disbarment.)

    When and where is the story set?? Isn’t sexual orientation a non-issue in most modern countries these days?? (Ergo, certainly not grounds for disbarment.)

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  2. Posted: March 26, 2020In: Comedy

    When a down-on-his luck food delivery driver inadvertently delivers the kiss of death to a troubled drug lord, he must use his street knowledge to navigate himself out of the criminal underworld in order to survive.

    guswakey Logliner
    Added an answer on March 26, 2020 at 10:00 am

    When a down-on-his luck delivery boy is inadvertently given the kiss of death when delivering pizza to a mafia boss, he must use his street knowledge in order to survive and find the true target of the hit.

    When a down-on-his luck delivery boy is inadvertently given the kiss of death when delivering pizza to a mafia boss, he must use his street knowledge in order to survive and find the true target of the hit.

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  3. Posted: March 24, 2020In: Comedy, Examples

    Forced out of a cloistered life after his employer dies, an illiterate simpleton gardener becomes a media celebrity and Washington influencer after a dying billionaire mistakes his gardening advice as metaphorical words of economic wisdom.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 26, 2020 at 1:58 am

    I would like to remark on the strategy I used to arrive at the version I posted.The general rule is that a logline should be no longer than 25 words in length.? But, of course, there are always exceptions, outliers.? Loglines that require more than 30 words are a particular challenge. (Loglines thatRead more

    I would like to remark on the strategy I used to arrive at the version I posted.

    The general rule is that a logline should be no longer than 25 words in length.? But, of course, there are always exceptions, outliers.? Loglines that require more than 30 words are a particular challenge. (Loglines that exceed 40 words are a problem? –? a fatal flaw. A logline longer than 40 words is DOA — dead on arrival.)

    So the question is: how best to craft a logline for scripts and story ideas that are longer?? My answer is:? deliver the story hook within the first 25 words.

    The story hook? for “Being There” is how a simpleton gardener becomes a media celebrity and Washington influencer.? My first rough drafts for a logline followed the sequence of events.? And so:

    His employer’s death forces a illiterate simpleton out of his cloistered life into the world where a politically powerful but dying billionaire mistakes him as a sage economist transforming him into a celebrity and influential Washington player.

    Well, at 37 words it stays under the 40 word ceiling and, less or more, conveys what the story is about.? But it contains a serious flaw:? the reader has to slog through 28 words to find out what the story hook is.? (And I am rabid on the point that the story hook is the most important element in a logline.) So I reworked the logline? until I could plant the story hook before the 25th word , that is,? state it within the generally accepted maximum logline length.

    In the version posted, the story hook is inserted before word 22.? I violated the letter of the “law” with a 35 word logline, but observed the “spirit” by getting the story hook within the 1st 25 words.

    Mission accomplished.

    fwiw

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