Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A disgraced winemaker sets out to exact revenge on the farmer he thinks sold him poisoned grapes.
As nicolesigaud has pointed out, there is no inciting incident in this version. Add the inciting inciting incident here and it's a step in the right direction. The inciting incident from your previous attempt: "When his celebrity drinkers die" played for comedy value could work really nicely. The onRead more
As nicolesigaud has pointed out, there is no inciting incident in this version. Add the inciting inciting incident here and it’s a step in the right direction.
The inciting incident from your previous attempt: “When his celebrity drinkers die” played for comedy value could work really nicely. The only thing I would suggest is to up the stakes:
When he’s accused of manslaughter after an A-list celebrity dies, a disgraced winemaker plots his revenge on the farmer he believes sold him poisoned grapes.
I like the addition of the police aspect because it adds a subplot and additional antagonistic elements that could be fun exploring. It also increases the motivation for the protagonist – not only is he trying to clear his name, he’s trying to stay out of jail.
Out of curiosity, did the farmer sell him poisoned grapes? If so, why?
See lessA renowned? but snobby food critic finds himself trapped in a Michelin star restaurant after a snowstorm with the volatile French chef whose previous establishment closed down due to a scathing review he wrote.
I like the premise! It has the conflict and comedic potential. I agree with the comments about it needing a hint about what kind of comedy it is. Is it going to be dark or light hearted? The script can keep us guessing, but the logline should tell us exactly what we are getting. Keep at it!
I like the premise! It has the conflict and comedic potential. I agree with the comments about it needing a hint about what kind of comedy it is. Is it going to be dark or light hearted? The script can keep us guessing, but the logline should tell us exactly what we are getting. Keep at it!
See lessAfter seeing one year ahead in a clairvoyant?s crystal ball and discovering he?s dead, a happy-go-lucky family man evaluates every part of his life in an attempt to prevent his demise.
I like your latest idea.? Suggest that if the lesson learned in Act 3 is to live in the present, then perhaps his contrasting problem in Act 1 might be that that he's always living for the future, striving for his Big Dream.? And he could be quite happy doing so because he's making steady progress tRead more
I like your latest idea.? Suggest that if the lesson learned in Act 3 is to live in the present, then perhaps his contrasting problem in Act 1 might be that that he’s always living for the future, striving for his Big Dream.? And he could be quite happy doing so because he’s making steady progress toward his Biggest Dream.? Only needs 3-4 years to reach it. (Although to accomplish that Big Dream he’s postponing other things that turn out to be more important. like a loving relationship. marriage, a family,)
And then he discovers he’s only got one year to live.? Which is a bummer in itself but it also means he’ll die without accomplishing his Big Dream. So what must he do?
IOW:? if his objective goal is figure out a way not to die in one year, well, IMHO it’s better for the objective goal to not to be defined the word not. It should not be framed as a negative. So if he must not die in one year it’s so he can achieve something positive.? Which is…?
fwiw
?
See less