Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a new film contest starts a group of egocentric childhood friends set out to make a movie, despite the fact that they know nothing about film making. But when the opportunity presents itself they are wiling to do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.
Agreed with the above. In general, loglines are better when they focus on the plot. In this case, you seemed to describe the premise and setup instead of the major story beats.
Agreed with the above.
In general, loglines are better when they focus on the plot. In this case, you seemed to describe the premise and setup instead of the major story beats.
See lessWhen Mads is released from prison, his greatest desire is to come out and be a father to his 10-year-old daughter, whom he has not seen for 3 years, but when he finds out she is deadly ill and the mother forbids him to see her , he dresses up like a hospital clown to have an opportunity to be something for his daughter before she dies.
So an ex-con can show up in cognito in a clown costume and not have to be vetted by a standard security background check before he can have regular access to amuse sick kids?And a story about parents feuding over a kid whose doomed to die is a comedy?
So an ex-con can show up in cognito in a clown costume and not have to be vetted by a standard security background check before he can have regular access to amuse sick kids?
And a story about parents feuding over a kid whose doomed to die is a comedy?
See lessA disgraced winemaker sets out to exact revenge on the farmer he thinks sold him poisoned grapes.
As nicolesigaud has pointed out, there is no inciting incident in this version. Add the inciting inciting incident here and it's a step in the right direction. The inciting incident from your previous attempt: "When his celebrity drinkers die" played for comedy value could work really nicely. The onRead more
As nicolesigaud has pointed out, there is no inciting incident in this version. Add the inciting inciting incident here and it’s a step in the right direction.
The inciting incident from your previous attempt: “When his celebrity drinkers die” played for comedy value could work really nicely. The only thing I would suggest is to up the stakes:
When he’s accused of manslaughter after an A-list celebrity dies, a disgraced winemaker plots his revenge on the farmer he believes sold him poisoned grapes.
I like the addition of the police aspect because it adds a subplot and additional antagonistic elements that could be fun exploring. It also increases the motivation for the protagonist – not only is he trying to clear his name, he’s trying to stay out of jail.
Out of curiosity, did the farmer sell him poisoned grapes? If so, why?
See less