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Envious of the positive attention his new coworker receives from his colleagues and love interest , an arrogant, lazy (no work ethic, shortcuts) cheater male enrolls in a planned office marathon in order to get recognition from his office crush
Love the concept and logline! What is the event that prompts the main character to put in all this work to impress his love interest? Why now? Can you add something that is last drop when it comes to his envy, and that gets him going? Great work!
Love the concept and logline! What is the event that prompts the main character to put in all this work to impress his love interest? Why now? Can you add something that is last drop when it comes to his envy, and that gets him going? Great work!
See lessWhen rather foolishly getting scammed and losing all her money, a rebellious teenage girl looking for independence from her controlling mother must team up with an elderly psychopathic bus driver in order to track down the ones who stole her money before it’s too late.
Nice logline, I like it. Perhaps you could rephrase "rather foolishly" and maybe bake it into the description of the character, something like "a rebellious but naive teenage girl". Just a suggestion. I like that there are stakes and a ticking clock, but what is providing the ticking clock? What wilRead more
Nice logline, I like it. Perhaps you could rephrase “rather foolishly” and maybe bake it into the description of the character, something like “a rebellious but naive teenage girl”. Just a suggestion. I like that there are stakes and a ticking clock, but what is providing the ticking clock? What will happen when it’s too late? You could be more specific there. Nice work!
See lessAfter having a fallout with her bandmates, a pop singer leaves and becomes a solo artist in her own right.
A bit wordy and confusing sentence structure and needs to address the conflict a bit more. Good premise tho
A bit wordy and confusing sentence structure and needs to address the conflict a bit more. Good premise tho
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