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  1. Posted: June 15, 2018In: Comedy

    When his apartment block is raided by mobsters, an angsty teen discovers that his boring parents were once hit-men of the Yakuza and so he must learn their old ways to defend himself against the violent thugs, who are lead by his estranged Uncle, if he hopes to escape with his life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 16, 2018 at 9:11 pm

    I think Nettle's version is an improvement.>>discovers that his boring parents were once hit-men of the YakuzaThat's? backstory, what the protagonist finds out AFTER the inciting incident. But a? logline focuses on the story looking forward, not on the story looking backwards.

    I think Nettle’s version is an improvement.

    >>discovers that his boring parents were once hit-men of the Yakuza

    That’s? backstory, what the protagonist finds out AFTER the inciting incident. But a? logline focuses on the story looking forward, not on the story looking backwards.

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  2. Posted: June 12, 2018In: Comedy

    When a ruthless, undercover alien headhunter discovers, her goofy co-travel-guide-researcher is from the rivaling faction, they must secretly use their genuine budding friendship to outwit the mastermind set on pinning them against each other. (The Alien Guide To Bavaria – to be a youtube show)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 13, 2018 at 7:30 am

    What are the stakes?? Why does it matter whether one side or the other wins ?? Win what?? What's the overarching objective goal of the team of non-rivals?

    What are the stakes?? Why does it matter whether one side or the other wins ?? Win what?? What’s the overarching objective goal of the team of non-rivals?

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  3. Posted: June 7, 2018In: Comedy

    As for being a janitor, burger flipper or ditch digger..those jobs are for the other people to do. At the age of 28, Charlie Bean comes to the harsh realization that he just might be the other people.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on June 8, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    How about something like: After failing another job interview, a proud man must put his ego aside and take any job he can to show his pregnant wife he can provide for his family before the birth of his child.

    How about something like:
    After failing another job interview, a proud man must put his ego aside and take any job he can to show his pregnant wife he can provide for his family before the birth of his child.

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