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While the country is being swept by an epidemic where the people are gradually fading away from existence, a struggling poet tries to compose an ode to his amnesic father, but must deal with his overbearing mother who is hell bent on sending him abroad to escape from this fate.
Like Nir Shelter, I can't figure out what the story is really about.The story hook is people gradually fading away because of an epidemic. ?I don't see how writing poetry builds on that story hook or is in any way as interesting. ? Why does it matter whether someone finishes a poem when there are biRead more
Like Nir Shelter, I can’t figure out what the story is really about.
The story hook is people gradually fading away because of an epidemic. ?I don’t see how writing poetry builds on that story hook or is in any way as interesting. ? Why does it matter whether someone finishes a poem when there are bigger problems to worry about, like humanity ?dying off?
See lessAn aspiring young actor searches for love, which he so desperately wants, from others but not from within himself.
At the moment you don't have a functioning logline. This story is full of an inner journey but there is no external goal or an event that drives the character towards that goal. When an aspiring?young actor takes on a role with a gorgeous actress, he must find a way to get the girl. I don't think whRead more
At the moment you don’t have a functioning logline. This story is full of an inner journey but there is no external goal or an event that drives the character towards that goal.
When an aspiring?young actor takes on a role with a gorgeous actress, he must find a way to get the girl.
I don’t think what I’ve written is the strongest logline ever but I think it works okay. A lot of the information you have put in your logline doesn’t need to be there. You can definitely have all those elements in your script but I think you should leave them out of your logline.
See lessIn a fantasy world he creates, an aspiring young actor lives his life as an acclaimed star but is unable to live like this in the real world because he fears he isn’t really good enough.
Try amping up "what others want" into more of a antagonistic challenge somehow. Maybe a boss figure?
Try amping up “what others want” into more of a antagonistic challenge somehow. Maybe a boss figure?
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