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  1. Posted: July 13, 2024In: Coming of Age

    Two fifteen year old genetically identical girls living in different dimensiosn, realize that they can communicate and interact with each other through their dreams.

    Philippe Le Miere Logliner
    Added an answer on July 17, 2024 at 10:57 am

    When a spiritual, but withdrawn fifteen year old girl realizes she can communicate and interact with a genetically identical, but vain version of herself through dreaming she must find a link back to reality or risk being lost in a life of depression. theme: excessive self-centeredness leads to sociRead more

    When a spiritual, but withdrawn fifteen year old girl
    realizes she can communicate and interact with a genetically identical, but vain version of herself through dreaming
    she must find a link back to reality or risk being lost in a life of depression.

    theme: excessive self-centeredness leads to social withdrawal
    protagonist want: Self-Centered…
    protagonist need: Friend Centered…

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  2. Posted: April 17, 2024In: Coming of Age

    A 16-year-old ambitious dancer and her boyfriend discover that she is pregnant before her important competition and have to make a decision.

    mrliteral Samurai
    Added an answer on April 17, 2024 at 11:24 am

    That's the conflict -- what's the story? All characters have to make decisions; it's the basis of every scene they're in...at least it should be. Loglines are the protagonist, antagonist, conflict, and stakes. These are hinted at here but not defined, and not in dramatic fashion. What's the competitRead more

    That’s the conflict — what’s the story? All characters have to make decisions; it’s the basis of every scene they’re in…at least it should be. Loglines are the protagonist, antagonist, conflict, and stakes. These are hinted at here but not defined, and not in dramatic fashion. What’s the competition for? What does she stand to gain or lose, by winning or not? How does her condition affect this, will she drop out, dance with a big belly, hire a babysitter, what? There isn’t enough detail here to see what the story could be. An ambitious teenage dancer discovers she’s pregnant right before a big competition, and has to track down her boyfriend to tell him before showtime. If it’s more about whether they opt to keep the kid, mention that. Whatever makes the stakes clear, with the main character’s goal stated.

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  3. Posted: February 5, 2024In: Coming of Age

    Five young singers from New York took the pop music scene by storm in the 1990s as a boy band, but along the way, they learn the hard lesson about the price of fame.

    robgee9 Penpusher
    Added an answer on February 8, 2024 at 5:07 am

    Sets up the stolry nicely, but for me does not get at the primary conflict -- are they poor and get spoiled by wealth; will they have relationshhip troubles; will they be taken advantage of by dishonest power brokers?

    Sets up the stolry nicely, but for me does not get at the primary conflict — are they poor and get spoiled by wealth; will they have relationshhip troubles; will they be taken advantage of by dishonest power brokers?

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