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  1. Posted: June 3, 2019In: Crime

    On the verge of taking his own life, a detective will have to get back on his feet to investigate the disappearance of his neglected daughter

    kpetrakis01 Logliner
    Added an answer on October 6, 2019 at 11:00 am

    What if he had been fired from his job, so no resources? Did the kidnapper send him a personal message - ie is her disappearance his fault from an old case? How old is his daughter?? Why is he suicidal - failed job, failed marriage? I think this can work with just more detail.   A washed up divRead more

    What if he had been fired from his job, so no resources? Did the kidnapper send him a personal message – ie is her disappearance his fault from an old case? How old is his daughter?? Why is he suicidal – failed job, failed marriage? I think this can work with just more detail.

     

    A washed up divorced detective is forced into retirement until he discovers his estranged 15 year old daughter is missing and the police have no clues.? Maybe? Needs a greater obstacle I think…

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  2. Posted: October 1, 2019In: Crime

    An ambitious blogger lands a legit writing gig with a large publishing firm the only problem is her first story , the subject is a wealthy philanthropist with a surprising secret. ?His associates grow nervous about the nosy news lady uncovering potentially damaging information regarding financial improprieties. With a deadline closing in she discovers there is a bounty on her head.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on October 2, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    A logline is a concise summary of the story in its entirety using (ideally) no more than 40 words phrased as a single sentence. At 61 words and comprising of 3 sentences, I'd recommend checking out the Formula page (link in the top nav) or, better yet, try out the logline generator to help come up wRead more

    A logline is a concise summary of the story in its entirety using (ideally) no more than 40 words phrased as a single sentence.

    At 61 words and comprising of 3 sentences, I’d recommend checking out the Formula page (link in the top nav) or, better yet, try out the logline generator to help come up with a 1 sentence logline.

    So she’s been given a job writing a book(?) about a wealthy philanthropist. I’m guessing she doesn’t have permission to do this? I feel like a book is a bit of a stretch and for a crime thriller (which I imagine this is) the shorter the time frame, the more potential you have for a thrill. Personally, I’d change her to be a journalist who uncovers a secret about the wealthy philanthropist she’s doing a positive story about. Have it so that she was commissioned by the philanthropist (or their agent) to write a nice piece about all the good work this guy does in the community. The paper she works for is being paid a substantial amount of money and given exclusive access for this piece. When she uncovers this secret, she’s caught between uncovering the truth – her natural instinct as a reporter – and the the knowledge that the paper will lose all that money and she may even lose her job. Dilemma. Then, as dpg said, MPR, she discovers she has a bounty on her head. So now she has to not only uncover the truth but also stay alive in order to do it.

    As dpg also pointed out, the hook (the secret) is an important element and since it’s likely to happen as part of Act I, we do need a little more information to understand the story as a whole. This secret has to be big enough to warrant her risking her life.

    Hope this helps.

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  3. Posted: May 5, 2019In: Crime

    Recent arrival in Australia, ?a black Swedish girl is confronted with the news her new husband has been accidentally killed while working as a farm laborer. Together with new friend s, 4 ?very ?desparate women confront more than the land owner. The church, ?the governmment a labor hire company all have a stake in stopping them from uncovering the bigger story behind his death.

    Best Answer
    Looking4h2o Logliner
    Added an answer on September 22, 2019 at 8:13 am

    Hey Richie I?m liking this Itseems Nita?s overstated and it?s succinct thanks

    Hey Richie I?m liking this Itseems Nita?s overstated and it?s succinct thanks

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