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A family member is involved in an accident, but it is covered up. A few years later, the man who now runs an escort club is again involved in a mysterious incident.
May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events. Read the sections labeled "Formula" and "Examples", then read some example loglines here on the site and learn from the reviews. Good luck!
May I suggest you read the training materials on this site? This is not a story concept as it merely lists two events.
Read the sections labeled “Formula” and “Examples”, then read some example loglines here on the site and learn from the reviews.
Good luck!
See lessA wide eyed bullied suburban housewife who walks into the robbery homicide of a loan shark must evade being hunted by both sides of the law to protect her family.
I like, but I'm distracted by wide eyed bullied. Maybe: An innocent suburban housewife walks in on the robbery homicide of a loan shark and now must evade being hunted by both sides of the law to protect her family.
I like, but I’m distracted by wide eyed bullied.
See lessMaybe:
An innocent suburban housewife walks in on the robbery homicide of a loan shark and now must evade being hunted by both sides of the law to protect her family.
A grieving father takes a job as a janitor to break into a building and gatecrash a Christmas party to exact revenge on those who committed an unspeakable act against his son.
This logline had me HOOKED until you said "unspeakable act". The unspeakable act is directly spoken of when you say, "unspeakable act". However, changing unspeakable out for a different adjective fixes this problem immediately and leaves you with a very very well polished logline that sells. "HeinouRead more
This logline had me HOOKED until you said “unspeakable act”. The unspeakable act is directly spoken of when you say, “unspeakable act”. However, changing unspeakable out for a different adjective fixes this problem immediately and leaves you with a very very well polished logline that sells. “Heinous” “unforgivable” “destructive.” Maybe I am ridiculous, but to me (and my opinion is but a grain of salt) unspeakable loses me because it could be anything, when what I want is simplicity and a logline that is upfront.
WONDERFUL LOGLINE!!!
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