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King Rossi, a famous New York City criminal who has a great interest in football and World Cup, gives an order to a group of professional thieves to steal the Original Cup from the Fifa Museum.
As Richiev said, who is the protagonist? If it's King Rossi (don't need to include names in a logline - just a characteristic) then does he just sit back and wait for the thieves to deliver the cup? Where's his conflict? What's his story? Who/what are the antagonistic forces? Who is trying to stop tRead more
As Richiev said, who is the protagonist? If it’s King Rossi (don’t need to include names in a logline – just a characteristic) then does he just sit back and wait for the thieves to deliver the cup? Where’s his conflict? What’s his story?
Who/what are the antagonistic forces? Who is trying to stop the thieves? Police? Rival criminals?
Make the reader feel like this isn’t just an ordinary job. You need a hook.
See lessWhen the illegal distribution of Opioids claims the life of a high school athlete, a 3rd generation police officer leads an investigation and as the case breaks, the fallout hits close to home.
Why does it matter that he's 3rd generation?
Why does it matter that he’s 3rd generation?
See less(Having another stab at this one….)
The logline has one major fundamental problem which I simply can't find a solution for - the MC can't do anything except wait in order to achieve her main goal - this isn't very cinematic (if at all...).
The logline has one major fundamental problem which I simply can’t find a solution for – the MC can’t do anything except wait in order to achieve her main goal – this isn’t very cinematic (if at all…).
See less