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  1. Posted: August 30, 2016In: Crime

    A young reporter and her Olympian interview subject clash when she digs into his past to reinvestigate the notorious murder she believes his father was wrongly convicted for ? a murder for which he pled guilty.

    mateekaq Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 31, 2016 at 7:52 am

    Thanks for your feedback! Based on your comments, it's pretty clear I'm not getting the core of my story across at all.?I'll be reworking what I have!

    Thanks for your feedback! Based on your comments, it’s pretty clear I’m not getting the core of my story across at all.?I’ll be reworking what I have!

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  2. Posted: August 11, 2016In: Crime

    When a high school kid suspects his father is responsible for a series of grisly prostitute murders, he teams up with a plucky young call girl to positively identify and stop the murderer.

    SpencerFilms Logliner
    Added an answer on August 14, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    A high school age boy comes to suspects his father is responsible for a recent series of grisly prostitute killings. Together with a plucky young call girl, he?teams up working to find the truth and stop further killings.Seems better, what do you think?

    A high school age boy comes to suspects his father is responsible for a recent series of grisly prostitute killings. Together with a plucky young call girl, he?teams up working to find the truth and stop further killings.

    Seems better, what do you think?

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  3. Posted: June 11, 2016In: Crime

    When a manic-depressive sharpshooter?s mother is assassinated, he marauds a criminal empire for the elusive hit-man responsible.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 12, 2016 at 6:14 am

    As Dkpough1 said. ?Bipolar has replaced manic-depressive in psycho-lingo.?I have a concern about the wording, that the character is defined in an adjective phrase, rather than as part of subject of the sentence. ?So instead of?"When a bipolar sharpshooter's mother is assassinated, he..." ?I suggestRead more

    As Dkpough1 said. ?Bipolar has replaced manic-depressive in psycho-lingo.

    ?I have a concern about the wording, that the character is defined in an adjective phrase, rather than as part of subject of the sentence. ?So instead of?”When a bipolar sharpshooter’s mother is assassinated, he…” ?I suggest “When his mother is assassinated, a bipolar sharpshooter….”

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