1. Posted: September 2, 2022In:

    A family’s moral code is tested when an unhappily married woman must disappear with her estranged father after being mixed up in the death of a criminal to evade the vengeance of his brother.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi mobiuswest, This is how I see the story based on your logline. You can use this logline as a template and re-write. An unhappily married woman who gets unwillingly mixed up, coerced into, or forced to take part in killing a criminal goes on the run to escape his brother's vengeance. I hope this hRead more

    Hi mobiuswest,
    This is how I see the story based on your logline. You can use this logline as a template and re-write.

    An unhappily married woman who gets unwillingly mixed up, coerced into, or forced to take part in killing a criminal goes on the run to escape his brother’s vengeance.

    I hope this helps

    Good Luck

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  2. Posted: August 10, 2022In:

    A disgraced detective reassigned to a residential police box discovers a grisly murder and must protect her daughter from a serial killer targeting young women.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi mobiuswest, How about this one: A demoted police detective must protect her daughter from a serial killer after witnessing a grisly homicide that occurs in her newly assigned workplace. I hope this helps.

    Hi mobiuswest,

    How about this one:

    A demoted police detective must protect her daughter from a serial killer after witnessing a grisly homicide that occurs in her newly assigned workplace.

    I hope this helps.

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  3. Posted: May 3, 2022In:

    When a stranger from his criminal past visits his support group, an ex-sicario priest must protect the people in his new life by reawakening old demons.

    BenGilani Logliner

    Hi The_CNI, May I ask who is your lead character? The priest? The stranger? The ex-sicario priest must protect the people in his new life from who/m? What is the relation of the support group with the ex-sicario priest? I propose you write your logline in simple words (without using any idioms or meRead more

    Hi The_CNI,
    May I ask who is your lead character? The priest? The stranger?
    The ex-sicario priest must protect the people in his new life from who/m?
    What is the relation of the support group with the ex-sicario priest?
    I propose you write your logline in simple words (without using any idioms or metaphors) first. Then share it here so we can figure out the abstract concept. Then you will probably get more feedback.

    I hope this helps

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