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“After the murder of his secret lover, a closeted small-town lawyer struggling with addiction is forced to abandon the comforts of his old life to seek revenge.”
I find this logline intriguing. I am curious about what "abandon the comforts of his old life" entails.
I find this logline intriguing. I am curious about what “abandon the comforts of his old life” entails.
See lessAfter the death of his secret lover, a closeted small-town lawyer struggles with his drug addiction until he finds fulfillment in his long-forgotten passion: dancing
I like it! It makes sense to me and I picture it being a drama, maybe with some comedy. I would specify the drug(s) he's addicted to and what form of dancing your MC does. I prefer Logline #2 because "leaves his old life" paints a clearer picture than saying: "until he finds fulfillment". I would adRead more
I like it! It makes sense to me and I picture it being a drama, maybe with some comedy. I would specify the drug(s) he’s addicted to and what form of dancing your MC does. I prefer Logline #2 because “leaves his old life” paints a clearer picture than saying: “until he finds fulfillment”. I would add what the main obstacle is for your MC, what has the potential to negatively affect his life? Is your MC still an addict after finding his true calling?
See lessWith no justice for the recent death of a gay dancer, a frustrated editor feels compelled to give his death meaning, while searching for his own.
"a frustrated editor" = protagonist "compelled to give his death meaning, while searching for his own." = main character goal "recent death of a gay dancer" = inciting incident Many of the key ingredients for a logline are present, except for the most important -> Cause & Effect. If this wereRead more
“a frustrated editor” = protagonist
“compelled to give his death meaning, while searching for his own.” = main character goal
“recent death of a gay dancer” = inciting incident
Many of the key ingredients for a logline are present, except for the most important -> Cause & Effect.
If this were my logline, I’d consider expanding upon our frustrated editor. What is likable about a mildly angry character – why might an audience sympathize?
I’d also consider what archetypical link might exist between gay dancer | frustrated editor? Implication is lovers (assumption is editor is male), … “his death, … searching for his own [death?] …” all sounds a bit muddily …
Am reading the final state as the Theme/Story premise: “If dying was the price to pay for doing what is right, would it still be worth it?”
Nice theme, but how well is the premise proven within the story? Justice leads to Death can make a very powerful story – I’m thinking of BraveHeart (1995). While here our noble protagonist gets his head chopped off, there is still a feeling by story end, that is death was worth the “FREEEEDOM!”
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