1. Posted: March 5, 2026In:

    REVERSAL is when a newly widowed woman enters a retirement village and volunteers for a radical anti-aging trial, the treatment begins to work — splitting the community into rival factions and exposing how far people will go to escape decline.

    dogger Penpusher

    I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity. For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial. Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community?Read more

    I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity.

    For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial.

    Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community? I don’t think so. That’s setup, but I suggest it isn’t the inciting incident. The inciting incident is when the drug trial works. Complications ensue.

    Also, the logline should state the objective goal the protagonist has a result of the inciting incident. So, what becomes her specific objective goal as a result of the results of taking the anti-aging drug? What is the specific problem/challenge/ complication she faces? Again, be specific,

    Hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: February 19, 2026In:

    When her raw, tell-all article about her marriage goes viral, a struggling writer must navigate a toxic, public literary feud with her successful husband to finally achieve the fame and recognition she craves.

    Nick12 Penpusher

    Didn’t this script receive a mention on the Black List? Love how you took the premise and distilled everything down! 🙂

    Didn’t this script receive a mention on the Black List? Love how you took the premise and distilled everything down! 🙂

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  3. Posted: April 3, 2025In:

    “A data analyst uncovers the true nature of reality and her place in it while exposing the greatest conspiracy against humanity ever devised.”

    K2 Penpusher

    I think you will need to clarify 'the true meaning of reality' in order for us to get excited about what you mean by 'the greatest conspiracy against humanity'. Also, you will need to personalise the conflict to give us a sense of how the story will unfold and also the genre. Is this about computerRead more

    I think you will need to clarify ‘the true meaning of reality’ in order for us to get excited about what you mean by ‘the greatest conspiracy against humanity’. Also, you will need to personalise the conflict to give us a sense of how the story will unfold and also the genre. Is this about computer hacking, is it a chase movie like ‘Enemy of the State or is it an apocalyptic story like ‘The Book of Eli’?

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