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“A data analyst uncovers the true nature of reality and her place in it while exposing the greatest conspiracy against humanity ever devised.”
I think you will need to clarify 'the true meaning of reality' in order for us to get excited about what you mean by 'the greatest conspiracy against humanity'. Also, you will need to personalise the conflict to give us a sense of how the story will unfold and also the genre. Is this about computerRead more
I think you will need to clarify ‘the true meaning of reality’ in order for us to get excited about what you mean by ‘the greatest conspiracy against humanity’. Also, you will need to personalise the conflict to give us a sense of how the story will unfold and also the genre. Is this about computer hacking, is it a chase movie like ‘Enemy of the State or is it an apocalyptic story like ‘The Book of Eli’?
See lessWhen a man gets accused of sexually abusing a kid, he must face the judgement of his own town, friends and family.
Is this based on a movie? "Must face the judgement..." renders the protagonist passive. The protagonist should be *pro*active and striving toward a specific objective goal. In the face of the criticism and ostracism of his family, friends, and community, what is that objective goal?
Is this based on a movie?
“Must face the judgement…” renders the protagonist passive. The protagonist should be *pro*active and striving toward a specific objective goal. In the face of the criticism and ostracism of his family, friends, and community, what is that objective goal?
See lessWhen his arm gets trapped under a giant rock in the Grand Canyon, a man must decide how much he values his own life and how far he will go to preserve it.
127 Hours (2010). The movie was based upon a real life incident. Noting that in the logline strengthens the hook of the logline. The hook of the logline is that it's a true story of a man who faces an awful dilemma: he must cut off his arm -- or die. It's a do or die plot predicament -- and that's wRead more
127 Hours (2010). The movie was based upon a real life incident. Noting that in the logline strengthens the hook of the logline.
The hook of the logline is that it’s a true story of a man who faces an awful dilemma: he must cut off his arm — or die. It’s a do or die plot predicament — and that’s what the logline should focus on. That predicament was the story hook that attracted the interest of acclaimed director Danny Boyle.
So, maybe:
The true life story of a mountain climber who, when his hand gets trapped under a boulder in a remote canyon, must cut it off or die.
(27 words versus 33 words for the logline posted. With loglines, less is more.)
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