1. Posted: July 3, 2021In:

    After her father’s bankruptcy, a high school student determined to attend Harvard must outwit two high school teachers who involve her in a cruel wager to determine whether two students can be made to fall in love.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    There's a disconnect here between the inciting incident and the goal. Harvard is expensive... so is she trying to get a scholarship? If so, we kinda need to know that. What relevance does the wager have on her journey to Harvard? If she successfully outwits the two teachers, it doesn't guarantee a pRead more

    There’s a disconnect here between the inciting incident and the goal. Harvard is expensive… so is she trying to get a scholarship? If so, we kinda need to know that. What relevance does the wager have on her journey to Harvard? If she successfully outwits the two teachers, it doesn’t guarantee a place in Harvard so what’s the connection?

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  2. Posted: July 2, 2021In:

    When a stoner hospital worker is blamed for delivering a meal to the wrong patient—killing him; she must prove that it was not her mistake.

    Karel Segers Samurai

    In this type of story, typically there is a secondary goal of bringing the real culprit to justice. Because it's a movie, an accident is not really interesting. There may have been a plot behind the killing of this particular patient?

    In this type of story, typically there is a secondary goal of bringing the real culprit to justice. Because it’s a movie, an accident is not really interesting. There may have been a plot behind the killing of this particular patient?

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  3. Posted: June 20, 2021In:

    When a suicidal woman rediscovers the letters from her imprisoned lover sent 4o years ago she decides to reply. Her reply leads to a deeper understanding of how self-forgiveness after a tragedy can be the hardest thing of all to overcome.

    Tempest Penpusher

    Sounds more like a romance to me! Love the concept. Given that self-forgiveness sometimes plays out for both characters at some point, flipping it to the love-interest's story, this could be their logline: "When a man is heartbroken after the love of his life leaves him and he subconsciously holds oRead more

    Sounds more like a romance to me! Love the concept.

    Given that self-forgiveness sometimes plays out for both characters at some point, flipping it to the love-interest’s story, this could be their logline:

    “When a man is heartbroken after the love of his life leaves him and he subconsciously holds onto her by continuing to work on their dream business, he must break free of his chains and declare his love after realising it is their divine love that brings him true happiness, not the business he has almost killed himself to keep alive.”

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