1. Posted: April 17, 2020In:

    ?Liam Santos comes to town to become a great artist, there he meets and falls in love with Fabio Grun, a successful young lawyer.? A car accident leaves the couple in a coma, only one of them can live thanks to the heart of one of them and thus be able to fulfill their dreams. —

    yqwertz Mentor

    Please take a look at the "Formula" link at the top of the page. A logline should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. As concisely as possible, it should tell us something about the MC, the inciting incident that kickstarts the story, and the MC's objective given the inciting incideRead more

    Please take a look at the “Formula” link at the top of the page. A logline should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. As concisely as possible, it should tell us something about the MC, the inciting incident that kickstarts the story, and the MC’s objective given the inciting incident. None of your suggested loglines gives us the information needed to evaluate the story.

    I think that in your case, the MC is the one who survives, so write the logline from the viewpoint of the survivor. Mike Pedley has suggested is may be someone else altogether, if so write the logline from the POV of that person.

    Remember, a logline is not a tagline. Taglines are designed to attract audiences. That is where you use flowery phrases like “A fatal accident tries to separate a love without limits”. A logline should be more objective.

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  2. Posted: April 13, 2020In:

    An emotionally-stunted, apathetic playboy learns to grieve his father’s death and appreciate life from a terminally ill woman, who loves life.

    dpg Singularity

    thedarkhorse:The standard m.o. for "smuggling in " in subjective needs is via the character flaw.? The character flaw is worked out in the process of struggling for the objective goal (OG).? If there's no OG than then there's no process for working out the subjective need.Another way, I look at it iRead more

    thedarkhorse:

    The standard m.o. for “smuggling in ” in subjective needs is via the character flaw.? The character flaw is worked out in the process of struggling for the objective goal (OG).? If there’s no OG than then there’s no process for working out the subjective need.

    Another way, I look at it is that the objective goal is the gimmick to draw viewers in, get them to invest their time in watching the movie.? The subjective need is the gimmick for the emotional catharsis/pay off that will leave them feeling their time and money was well spent.

    (The working out of the subjective problem may be the story hook for the writer, what draw him into investing blood, sweat and rejection in writing the script.? Which seems to be the case for several of the loglines, you’ve posted.? It is certainly the case with my kidney transplant story.? But, again, when it comes to hooking producer interest into shooting the script, I opine what matters more is the objective goal.)

    The OG in Citizen Kane is to find out the meaning of Kane’s dying word.? Who was Rosebud?? The reporter’s search for the answer to that question is the framing device for the whole picture.?? Without that objective goal, Citizen Kane isn’t a plot; it’s a string of pearls, scenes from the life of supremely ambitious man.

    I don’t think there needs to be a dilemma in regards to the two loglines.? A writer needs to do write both.? One to frame the plot for writing the script, the 2nd one to pitch the finished script.? I wish the site encouraged and supported posting both versions.? But…

    regards

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  3. Posted: April 16, 2020In:

    “A fateful accident tries to separate a love without limits between an emerging artist and a promising lawyer, but fate and science will help that love to continue living in one body to fulfill the dreams of both.”

    mrliteral Samurai

    Doesn't tell us what the story is, who the people involved are,? what they want, or what's stopping them. Protagonist, antagonist, conflict stakes. Also, how can an accident try to do something? It's a non-entity. The whole thing is vague and unclear. Give us specifics.

    Doesn’t tell us what the story is, who the people involved are,? what they want, or what’s stopping them. Protagonist, antagonist, conflict stakes. Also, how can an accident try to do something? It’s a non-entity. The whole thing is vague and unclear. Give us specifics.

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