1. Posted: March 20, 2020In:

    A faith-driven basketball star must prove his true identity or miss the playoffs when he discovers his godless mother abducted and raised him under an alias.

    dpg Singularity

    Under either scenario, I have no problem understanding why he would want to find his father.But what I don't understand is why he must find him NOW?? Why can't he wait a few weeks until after the playoffs -- the March madness period -- is over with?? The dramatic dilemma feels contrived.

    Under either scenario, I have no problem understanding why he would want to find his father.

    But what I don’t understand is why he must find him NOW?? Why can’t he wait a few weeks until after the playoffs — the March madness period — is over with?? The dramatic dilemma feels contrived.

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  2. Posted: March 20, 2020In:

    A college basketball star, abducted and raised under an alias by his addicted mother must jeopardize his shot at the championship when he sets out to find his long-lost dad.

    yqwertz Mentor

    In your previous logline I commented that the main characters were not driving the story. This logline proves my point as you have the same story but different characters. Again, how does he know he was abducted? If his mother has been arrested, the police know who the father is. If his mother simplRead more

    In your previous logline I commented that the main characters were not driving the story. This logline proves my point as you have the same story but different characters.

    Again, how does he know he was abducted? If his mother has been arrested, the police know who the father is. If his mother simply told him that without proof, then how does he know her confession was not a drug induced hallucination? Either way, the basketball game seems to be a subplot that may not merit mention in the logline.

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  3. Posted: March 19, 2020In:

    ?When her husband tragically dies, a depressed young widow honors his last wish to pass along his sacred heirloom to their firstborn son; otherwise, a generation of blessings will turn to generations of curses. But after a ruthless adversary steals the heirloom, ?the widow struggles to retrieve it before an evil curse is brought upon her son.

    deborah_b Logliner

    Hey Melissa! I feel like your logline is basically this: a ruthless adversary steals the heirloom, the widow struggles to retrieve it before an evil curse is brought upon her son. With a bit of tidy-up. Like: When a ruthless demon/warlock/lawyer/rival steals a heirloom, a widow must struggle to retrRead more

    Hey Melissa! I feel like your logline is basically this:

    a ruthless adversary steals the heirloom, the widow struggles to retrieve it before an evil curse is brought upon her son.

    With a bit of tidy-up. Like:

    When a ruthless demon/warlock/lawyer/rival steals a heirloom, a widow must struggle to retrieve it before an evil curse claims her son’s life.

    Drama, horror, or supernatural? Whichever! I’d watch it. 🙂

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