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When his stepdad, out of frustration, accidentally tells him his real father is Santa Claus, an autistic 12 year old sets out on Christmas Eve to find him.
Cute idea.The blurting out is secondary, no? The man can get drunk and spill the secret, the kid can stumble upon a video or picture that reveals the truth...and it's the same story. If yes, cut the detail from the logline. "After learning that his real father is Santa Claus..."For a high-concept stRead more
Cute idea.
The blurting out is secondary, no? The man can get drunk and spill the secret, the kid can stumble upon a video or picture that reveals the truth…and it’s the same story. If yes, cut the detail from the logline. “After learning that his real father is Santa Claus…“
For a high-concept story of “Boy looks for his real father, Santa,’ the addition of him being autistic feels like a distraction or second hook. I’d like to read/see a romcom with a teen or adult who’s autistic or a horror with such a protag or mc. But for this novel scenario, consider a kid who represents many more people.
Next take, look to create more of a mental picture of what happens in most of Act II. Where does the boy go? How? Alone? Is it a road trip?
What are the stakes? Seems the boy still has his mother, the step-dad sounds normal enough…what exactly propels him and what would happen if he does not find Santa Daddy?
See lessWhen a city council decides to impound all stray animals, a selfish ex-house cat seeks refuge with a family of street cats, but to earn his place, he must learn to put others first and outsmart the Feline Mafia henchman that stands between the street cats and the new home that will save them all.
Thanks for your feedback guys. Here's another stab at it: When a city declares stray animals illegal a newly-homeless house cat must help a family of street cats outsmart the mafia henchman that stands between them and the safety of a new home before they all get caught.
Thanks for your feedback guys. Here’s another stab at it:
When a city declares stray animals illegal a newly-homeless house cat must help a family of street cats outsmart the mafia henchman that stands between them and the safety of a new home before they all get caught.
See lessAfter naively inviting her daughter’s various ‘godfathers’, a mafia overlord must prevent her wedding from becoming a gang war
Richiev makes a good point, but...This concept will inevitably be compared to the opening sequence of the "The Godfather".? In that sequence, Don Corleone has invited his rivals to his daughter's wedding.? And Don Corleone was not naive, was nobody's fool.? The reason why Don Corleone invited them wRead more
Richiev makes a good point, but…
This concept will inevitably be compared to the opening sequence of the “The Godfather”.? In that sequence, Don Corleone has invited his rivals to his daughter’s wedding.? And Don Corleone was not naive, was nobody’s fool.? The reason why Don Corleone invited them was because the mafia did have a code of conduct.? A wedding was a safe haven, a day of standing down; it was unthinkable? for anyone to dishonor the Godfather, to defile the occasion? with violence.? ?That has become the standard convention.
To make the premise of this story plausible, it will be necessary to explain why the boss invited them and why they violated their own code of conduct.
Also, why always the Sicilian mob?? IMHO, it’s such an overused trope.? In these times, there are plenty of other ethnic groups to choose from.
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