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After attempting to escape the mob Sal Mano?s boss puts a bounty on his head. His daughter Bell must find a way to retrieve her family fortune in order to save her father?s life.
Agree with Nir Shelter, particularly giving the female protagonist an age range. You listed this logline as family, but it could also read like drama (Taken in reverse, Hanna, Paper Moon.) If family, consider including unique details to differentiate Bell and her story goal from other films. (e.g. SRead more
Agree with Nir Shelter, particularly giving the female protagonist an age range. You listed this logline as family, but it could also read like drama (Taken in reverse, Hanna, Paper Moon.) If family, consider including unique details to differentiate Bell and her story goal from other films. (e.g. Spy Kids, Mulan, Trouble with the Curve, etc.)
See less“When two brothers feud over having to play with each other, one enters a cheat code into their video game, and the two are sucked into a game world, where they must battle bosses, and beat levels, to win, or be stuck in the game world forever.” – Cheat Code Kids – by Judah Ray
The idea of getting sucked into a video game is a marketable idea, I think for kids/families. I think the logline shows a lot of the first 10 pages, the setup. ?What if you just started at: "Two argumentative brothers, become trapped in a video game...." ?I don't know if argumentative is the right aRead more
The idea of getting sucked into a video game is a marketable idea, I think for kids/families.
I think the logline shows a lot of the first 10 pages, the setup. ?What if you just started at:
“Two argumentative brothers, become trapped in a video game….” ?I don’t know if argumentative is the right adjective to show the conflict or personalities of your MC’s of course. ?Maybe you want to get across that they are opposites and state their qualities?
See lessWhen a desperate Wisconsin farm wife invites WWII Nazi POWs to work the family orchard, she brings the war home.
It sounds as if the migrant workers' mass exodus is one catalyst which forces her to take action - get POWs to work on the farm, she then pursues the goal of saving the farm. This is one story with its own inciting incident, action, and goal, and the love stories could make for great subplots. HowevRead more
It sounds as if the migrant workers’ mass exodus is one catalyst which forces her to take action – get POWs to work on the farm, she then pursues the goal of saving the farm.
This is one story with its own inciting incident, action, and goal, and the love stories could make for great subplots.
However, this could be turned into a family drama by specifying the rape attempt and falling for Karl as the inciting incident, which forces her to take action – keep the family and farm together for the kid’s sake, she then pursues her goal of a relationship with Karl.
This is definitely a good backdrop for a story, it’s just that you have too many subplots competing to be the ‘A’ plot in the film. Which of these do you prefer to write about in the script?
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