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On a deserted hot planetoid, a lonely robotic puppy tries to befriend an android visitor. His attempts at friendship are rebuffed until he is put a life and death choice. When the pup gives up his very own battery, his last hope comes from a within mysterious spherical chamber.
As your loglines part with industry convention and attract similar, if not identical, comments on a regular basis. It seems as if you haven't read (despite many recommendations) the Training tab on the top bar. Here are a few pointers to help you in future logline drafts: 1 - Keep it short, ideallyRead more
As your loglines part with industry convention and attract similar, if not identical, comments on a regular basis. It seems as if you haven’t read (despite many recommendations) the Training tab on the top bar.
Here are a few pointers to help you in future logline drafts:
1 – Keep it short, ideally as close as possible to 25 words.
See less2 – Describe ONLY the main characters and major plot points of the story – protagonist, antagonist (if necessary), inciting incident, main action and goal.
3 – Stick to the following formula: After an inciting incident motivates a flawed main character, he or she MUST undertake action to achieve a compelling goal.
4 – Lastly, clarity is all – eliminate vague or generic descriptions.
When he invents inter-dimensional video messaging, a friendless whiz kid hides his discovery from his loud and obnoxious adult colleagues to develop a friendship with an alien delinquent in peace (and quiet).
It sounds as if the inciting incident is more the colleague's discovery of the invention, best to describe it as such in the logline and as it stands now the inciting incident is his inventing the interdenominational? face time. Then the MC's goal can be made to be a reaction to what the colleague dRead more
It sounds as if the inciting incident is more the colleague’s discovery of the invention, best to describe it as such in the logline and as it stands now the inciting incident is his inventing the interdenominational? face time.
Then the MC’s goal can be made to be a reaction to what the colleague does.
See lessWhen his grades slip too much for regular coursework to fix, an impulsive prankster must complete community service without incident at a strict military school to graduate junior high with his best friends.
If this is an absurdist comedy, I don't think the implausible premise would be a hindrance. If it is such a farce, I suggest writing it in a way that makes it clear.
If this is an absurdist comedy, I don’t think the implausible premise would be a hindrance. If it is such a farce, I suggest writing it in a way that makes it clear.
See less