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A young girl, orphaned by cholera struggles, to stay out of the hands of the man who abused her. She dons boy?s clothes to flee West in search of a new family.
Yes- historical time and place but help greatly and may explain why she dons boys clothes? - to be a sailor? a soldier? apprenticeship? How young is the girl? How does being female become an obstacle? Who is the abuser - family? priest? cop? Why would he look for her? To sell her? To keep her?
Yes- historical time and place but help greatly and may explain why she dons boys clothes? – to be a sailor? a soldier? apprenticeship?
How young is the girl? How does being female become an obstacle?
Who is the abuser – family? priest? cop? Why would he look for her? To sell her? To keep her?
See lessWhen King Henry VIII dies, members of his court rally for their share of power, and intend to keep the monarch’s death a secret for as long as they need; but this leaves the royal surgeon with a decaying body that nobody can know of.
If the surgeon's dilemma is for another script, leave it out of this logline. The way this logline is worded makes it seem like a large part of the story will focus on him. Give us one protagonist that we follow and are rooting for and write the whole logline from their perspective. This will help bRead more
If the surgeon’s dilemma is for another script, leave it out of this logline. The way this logline is worded makes it seem like a large part of the story will focus on him.
Give us one protagonist that we follow and are rooting for and write the whole logline from their perspective. This will help bring the story together as you will be able to focus on one character’s desires, failings and rivals – goal, arc, and antagonist(s).
The Favourite is a great example of backstabbing, blackmail, etc in an historical film so I would highly recommend watching it. Another great example is The Death of Stalin which deals with a very similar premise albeit in a more modern setting.
See lessThe true story of a family man whose congressional testimony?delivered while hooked up to a dialysis machine?leads to landmark legislation making dialysis treatments universally available. Working title: God Committee
Bear with me, sometimes I care too much. ;-) The torture of a hospital deciding on his access to dialysis treatment sends a dying family man on a showdown with Congress seeking universal coverage. Based on the true events from 1972. vs. After meeting someone rejected by a hospital for access to dialRead more
Bear with me, sometimes I care too much. 😉
The torture of a hospital deciding on his access to dialysis treatment sends a dying family man on a showdown with Congress seeking universal coverage. Based on the true events from 1972.
vs.
After meeting someone rejected by a hospital for access to dialysis treatment, a family man who gets treatment takes on Washington seeking universal coverage.
I can even see the whole script about the time before and during the process and wait for the GC. A couple of pages jumping ahead to the Congress part would be the denouement, Then, the protag can be anyone else.
With his kidneys failing, a family man’s personal and professional lives are thrown into turmoil as he waits for a hospital committee to decide on his access to limited dialysis treatment. Based on true events before universal coverage in 1972..
(The loglines have room to improve.)
My three cents.
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