1. Posted: February 4, 2017In:

    While trying to aid a quadriplegic man with an alternative method, a blind music therapist accidentally materializes an unholy spirit from her patient?s troubled mind, and it?s up to them to fight against it.

    JM Logliner

    Thanks a lot for the feedback. It means a lot to me and it's really helpful. The issue about the characteristics of the demon is a dilemma I have as far as how it is presented. My idea is that the demon is only an pretext for a story that is more based on the characters. In fact, is more of a dark pRead more

    Thanks a lot for the feedback. It means a lot to me and it’s really helpful. The issue about the characteristics of the demon is a dilemma I have as far as how it is presented. My idea is that the demon is only an pretext for a story that is more based on the characters. In fact, is more of a dark presence than something material. But I guess this needs to be redefined so the story has a clear direction and the main idea of the logline becomes clearer. Cheers.

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  2. Posted: February 1, 2017In:

    ?Blamed for banishing the antichrist back to hell, a gang of demons must make their way across the city, as they fight through each territory, and the monsters that hold them down, to get back to their home turf, where they think they are safe.? ? THE FIENDS – by Judah Ray

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Telling a story about one character is hard enough much less six of them. Multiple main characters don't sound critical to the plot at hand and will run the risk of shifting the POV throughout the film, this could subsequently fragment the audience's emotional connection. I suggest identifying one mRead more

    Telling a story about one character is hard enough much less six of them. Multiple main characters don’t sound critical to the plot at hand and will run the risk of shifting the POV throughout the film, this could subsequently fragment the audience’s emotional connection. I suggest identifying one main character in the whole group.

    If their goal is safety then the inciting incident should clearly motivate them to need safety, currently, they’re being blamed for banishing the antichrist but this doesn’t directly imply they are in danger. I suggest you change the inciting incident to an event that clearly describes the danger they’re in, perhaps one or more of them could get killed.

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  3. Posted: February 1, 2017In:

    The perfect test subject wakes in the middle of a murder and must journey into a nightmare to find out why she?s killing.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Dpg hit the first nail square and true. ?Next journey into a nightmare. ?People use that a lot and it is bad. ?A nightmare can mean a horrific situation, it can mean being made to suffer or it can be an actual nightmare. ?And how does this tell her anything. i can see a single scene not a movie. ?PeRead more

    Dpg hit the first nail square and true. ?Next journey into a nightmare. ?People use that a lot and it is bad. ?A nightmare can mean a horrific situation, it can mean being made to suffer or it can be an actual nightmare. ?And how does this tell her anything.

    i can see a single scene not a movie. ?Person wakes up while killing someone. ?They must now do something to figure out why they were killing someone.

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