1. Posted: October 22, 2020In:

    Logline: A hardened cyber crimes analyst must shut down the source of a cursed smartphone app that seems to kill people who use it before the app strikes its next targets, her estranged family.

    Ninann22 Logliner

    I like the premise. It reminds me of the Ring. Just needs a little polish. When you have “ that seems to” take that out. In my opinion apps can be used on many devices so “smartphone” may be remove. I feel you run into more conflict that way which makes the story mor interesting. Keep up the hard woRead more

    I like the premise. It reminds me of the Ring. Just needs a little polish. When you have “ that seems to” take that out. In my opinion apps can be used on many devices so “smartphone” may be remove. I feel you run into more conflict that way which makes the story mor interesting. Keep up the hard work.

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  2. Posted: September 7, 2020In:

    When she discovers her landlord is a vampire, an occult historian must destroy their wealth to destroy the ancient vampire nest.

    NeedyGoldfish Penpusher

    I don't get the part about destroying the wealth - does that mean bankrupt her? If so, why? Making that clearer would make for a punchier logline. Also, the word "destroy" is repeated. Otherwise, totally a movie I would go see!

    I don’t get the part about destroying the wealth – does that mean bankrupt her? If so, why? Making that clearer would make for a punchier logline.
    Also, the word “destroy” is repeated.
    Otherwise, totally a movie I would go see!

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  3. Posted: September 6, 2020In:

    After an ugly break-up, a man tries to put his life together by building a new home only to find out his virtual assistent is possessed by an vengeful spirit.

    Best Answer
    Odie Samurai

    Love me some horror CucuMucu, think about the following while sharpening this logline. 1. Does this breakup involve an e.g. girlfriend, or does it have more weight like an ugly divorce? The logline will serve better with a big inciting incident. If the breakup is a minor part of the plot, one that yRead more

    Love me some horror CucuMucu, think about the following while sharpening this logline.
    1. Does this breakup involve an e.g. girlfriend, or does it have more weight like an ugly divorce? The logline will serve better with a big inciting incident. If the breakup is a minor part of the plot, one that you move past quickly and has little or no character reoccurrence later – you could skip right to the possession as your inciting incident.
    2. OPINION: It will help to call your protag an “architect” who’s building his “dream SMART home” as an anchor for the virtual assistance + “rebuilding” metaphors.
    3. Now that we’re getting closer to a strong inciting incident, focus on your protag and goal, we need to work on your antagonist. Since this is not one of those old haunted house stories you need a unique method of how this vengeful spirit possesses your virtual assistant. This can get cliché quick, be careful as we (audience) has seen it all – surprise us 😊.
    4. You can also add stakes or the method of how he will overcome this vengeful spirit.

    If you like, please elaborate on my above comments, whom he broke up with, and this vengeful spirit so I or the community can take a crack at this – got to be a reason why this spirit is so pissed right? 😉

    Hope this helps, take care

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