1. Posted: November 24, 2017In:

    A man is held by unseen captives that thwart his every escape attempt. He discovers that they are his other personalities that have trying to stop his most violent personality escaping and killing again.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    I prefer it if he dies (I write as I twist my evil looking mustache...) it gives him an element of sacrifice that redeems his character. However, for it not to feel hollow and labored, you'll need a second "real" character to benefit from the MC's sacrifice, otherwise, it was all for nothing. CouldRead more

    I prefer it if he dies (I write as I twist my evil looking mustache…) it gives him an element of sacrifice that redeems his character. However, for it not to feel hollow and labored, you’ll need a second “real” character to benefit from the MC’s sacrifice, otherwise, it was all for nothing. Could there be a victim he was planning on killing and as a result of his own sacrifice the victim lives?

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  2. Posted: November 6, 2017In:

    Trapped

    dpg Singularity

    CraigDGriffiths:This one has been haunting my brain for 10 days now. Which is a good sign, I guess, given the genre.I have some quibbles over terminology raised in the discussion thread. (Technically he suffers from a multiple personality disorder, not schizophrenia; the two aren't interchangeable).Read more

    CraigDGriffiths:

    This one has been haunting my brain for 10 days now. Which is a good sign, I guess, given the genre.

    I have some quibbles over terminology raised in the discussion thread. (Technically he suffers from a multiple personality disorder, not schizophrenia; the two aren’t interchangeable).? But that aside I think it’s an intriguing concept, definitely a film I am curious to see how the narrative keeps the character — and the audience — in the dark for most of the movie.

    In terms of how to phrase the logline, I am of a divided mind.? On the hand, the standard rule says never give away an important spoiler, specifically the Big Reveal, in a logline.? On the other hand, the most important must-have element in a logline is a good hook.? And in this story, the story hook is the Big Reveal — that it’s a conspiracy of multiple selves.

    So which element is more important?? I have concluded that this is a case where having a good story hook trumps the “no spoiler” rule.

    Best wishes with this story.? Hope to see it soon in a theater, or on a streaming service.

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  3. Posted: November 6, 2017In:

    When homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, greenhorn security guard must take a stand to survive and protect other patients.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    After a homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, a greenhorn security guard must fight for his life. (22 words)That he also fights to save others is?certainly part of the story, but I'm guessing he would be the primary focus of the maniac's rage because of his poRead more

    After a homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, a greenhorn security guard must fight for his life.
    (22 words)

    That he also fights to save others is?certainly part of the story, but I’m guessing he would be the primary focus of the maniac’s rage because of his position and uniform. Hence, the focus of the logline.

    That you’re writing from personal knowledge of the character type and the context is a plus.

    Best wishes with your project.

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