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  1. Posted: November 6, 2017In: Horror

    When homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, greenhorn security guard must take a stand to survive and protect other patients.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 7, 2017 at 8:56 am

    After a homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, a greenhorn security guard must fight for his life. (22 words)That he also fights to save others is?certainly part of the story, but I'm guessing he would be the primary focus of the maniac's rage because of his poRead more

    After a homicidal maniac escapes his cell in a locked-down mental health institution, a greenhorn security guard must fight for his life.
    (22 words)

    That he also fights to save others is?certainly part of the story, but I’m guessing he would be the primary focus of the maniac’s rage because of his position and uniform. Hence, the focus of the logline.

    That you’re writing from personal knowledge of the character type and the context is a plus.

    Best wishes with your project.

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  2. Posted: November 1, 2017In: Horror

    When a young girl is forced into the sex trade, she must choose her path to freedom even if it involves a vampire.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on November 1, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    To escape from the sex trade a young woman must... Now how does the Vampire play into it; or A Vampire offers... as a means to help a young woman escape the sex trade. Trapped in the sex trader a young is offered help by a Vampire if she .... Lots of options.

    To escape from the sex trade a young woman must…

    Now how does the Vampire play into it; or

    A Vampire offers… as a means to help a young woman escape the sex trade.

    Trapped in the sex trader a young is offered help by a Vampire if she ….

    Lots of options.

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  3. Posted: October 31, 2017In: Horror

    A small-town janitor reels from the death of his former teacher and wife, only to be unexpectedly snowed in at his alma mater secondary school over Christmas holidays, challenged with sheer survival as well as the demons of his past.

    Best Answer
    Paul Clarke Samurai
    Added an answer on October 31, 2017 at 9:59 am

    I like the specificity, and there are some good parts here that give me an impression on what the story will be, but it's also still a little too vague. First of all, is his former teacher and wife the same person? It's not clear, and I have no idea why it's important that we know both, or how thatRead more

    I like the specificity, and there are some good parts here that give me an impression on what the story will be, but it’s also still a little too vague.

    First of all, is his former teacher and wife the same person? It’s not clear, and I have no idea why it’s important that we know both, or how that death relates to the rest of the story. Challenging his demons implies he played some part in her death? If so make that clear.

    Alma mater secondary school is very wordy and a little odd. Why not – former high school?

    And most importantly, what is the actual movie about? Getting snowed in at a school is hardly life or death, so how does it become about survival? And is it just him stuck at a school? And why he is at the school (funeral/memorial maybe?). If the ‘demons of his past’ are not literal then I would include them. Is this a supernatural horror?

    It’s a good start, but some more specifics are required.

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