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When a stranger?s corpse tells her he?s an unsolved murder victim, an impetuous journalist must follow his clues and unmask the killer for the story of her career.
It feels weird that a 'corpse tells' her his story. Does that mean corpse talks to her? If so, it'd have to be either a zombie or a ghost. In that case, you might as well use the actual term. Or the corpse could be part of an experiment?which protagonist?will discover and eventually uncover the scieRead more
It feels weird that a ‘corpse tells’ her his story. Does that mean corpse talks to her? If so, it’d have to be either a zombie or a ghost. In that case, you might as well use the actual term. Or the corpse could be part of an experiment?which protagonist?will discover and eventually uncover the scientist behind it. I very much like the premise but logline could be more clear and catchy.
See lessAged out of foster care, Eric Grid needs to learn magic if he wants to become rich competing in a high stakes poker league controlled by the mafia.
It's an interesting leap to go from "want to earn money playing poker" to "must learn magic". I feel like this character must already have contact with the realm of magic to make that leap, so would it be better to say something like "needs to hone his magical abilities"? Second, "if he wants to getRead more
It’s an interesting leap to go from “want to earn money playing poker” to “must learn magic”. I feel like this character must already have contact with the realm of magic to make that leap, so would it be better to say something like “needs to hone his magical abilities”?
Second, “if he wants to get rich” seems too ambiguous. Clearly, he wants to “get rich” or “win a ton of money” in this poker league so maybe “in order to” instead of “if he wants to”
Also, I feel like the fact that the poker league is controlled by the mafia doesn’t impact the story without some sort of stakes given… something like, “before the mafia realizes what he’s done”
And then, of course, you have to balance all of that with being concise…
At any rate, color me deeply intrigued for this concept and how it becomes a noir film.
See lessAn exiled warden falls in love with a runaway 157 year old woman. When she is recaptured, he must save her and his daughter from the City he was banished from.
How is it that a 157 year old woman is vigorous enough to escape from anywhere? The logline is categorized as "Noir" but it seems more in the realm of the Fantastical or SciFi.
How is it that a 157 year old woman is vigorous enough to escape from anywhere?
The logline is categorized as “Noir” but it seems more in the realm of the Fantastical or SciFi.
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