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  1. Posted: June 26, 2022In: Short Film

    When home is infested with cockroaches, a paranoid recluse must overcome his need for control in order to destroy his home to kill the infestation.

    LachieM Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 10:29 am

    I feel like his goal to kill the cockroaches and what he must overcome don't really go hand in hand. If he were to overcome his need for control, won't the protagonist be alright with seeing the occasional cockroach? I can definitely see a great short story idea here! but maybe tighten down what theRead more

    I feel like his goal to kill the cockroaches and what he must overcome don’t really go hand in hand. If he were to overcome his need for control, won’t the protagonist be alright with seeing the occasional cockroach?

    I can definitely see a great short story idea here! but maybe tighten down what the true goal or need for your character is.

    Good luck!

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  2. Posted: June 22, 2022In: Action

    When a translucent humanoid creature gets his memory back, he sets out to become the worlds judge, jury and executioner based on his way of life, while dealing with a group of people that disagree with his ways and try to stop him at any cost

    Niesy Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 10:26 am

    Good and interesting idea, however, is there a motive such as a specific memory as to why he wants to "become the worlds judge, jury and executioner" - this may better your logline in establishing the event that happened and the action the creature takes as a response to the event. I think "become tRead more

    Good and interesting idea, however, is there a motive such as a specific memory as to why he wants to “become the worlds judge, jury and executioner” – this may better your logline in establishing the event that happened and the action the creature takes as a response to the event.

    I think “become the worlds judge, jury and executioner” could be a little simplified.

    Other than that, really interesting idea and would like to see how this could turn into a short film!

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  3. Posted: June 22, 2022In: Thriller

    In a utopia where all crimes are punishable by death, a teen gets accused of a crime they didn’t commit.

    Ct63 Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 10:23 am

    Great longline! I can really see the story come to life!

    Great longline! I can really see the story come to life!

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