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When her raw, tell-all article about her marriage goes viral, a struggling writer must navigate a toxic, public literary feud with her successful husband to finally achieve the fame and recognition she craves.
Didn’t this script receive a mention on the Black List? Love how you took the premise and distilled everything down! 🙂
Didn’t this script receive a mention on the Black List? Love how you took the premise and distilled everything down! 🙂
See lessFollowing the mysterious disappearance of their community, a young fugitive and his animal companion must step out of the shadows in search of answers, embarking on a journey where revealing their identity and forbidden power could prove deadly.
Hi, isanatera! Right now this logline is too vague. Right now, it’s the seed of what will hopefully become a really good story. It tells us that the story has secrets, but doesn’t explain what makes those secrets interesting or unique. For example: You mention a mysterious disappearance of their comRead more
Hi, isanatera! Right now this logline is too vague. Right now, it’s the seed of what will hopefully become a really good story. It tells us that the story has secrets, but doesn’t explain what makes those secrets interesting or unique. For example:
You mention a mysterious disappearance of their community, but what exactly is their community? A village? A city? A group of forest animals (you said it’s a fantasy, so if the world is like Narnia, it could be plausible.)
Where is the community located? Urban city? Rural farmland? Way up high on remote mountains?
Animal companion? Is the companion a dog, cat, hamster, horse, Minotaur, etc.? Do they talk or no? What do they add to the story? Are they part of the reason why they are hunted?
What’s their forbidden power? Are they living in a village where he uses forbidden voodoo black magick, where their village normally bands such a practice? Are they psychic? Are they a superhero? Do they fly? Have super speed, etc.?
Prove deadly how? In what way? Executed by a regime? Being hunted by monsters? By losing their companion? By triggering a larger catastrophe?
There’s also no defining trait for the protagonist beyond the fact that he’s young. What’s his flaw? What’s his goal? What does he want? Why is this character the only one who can pursue the truth?
Here’s an example that hopefully helps get your creative juices flowing:
When an imperial purge erases his mountain clan, a teenage shapeshifter and his bonded wolf infiltrate the capital to expose the decree behind it, knowing discovery means public execution.
See lessIn a single year, a guardian haunted by irrational horrors must rebuild a broken world and find the cure to save the princess from her fatal destiny.
Hi NavCR and thanks for your comments on my logline. I read yours. My first reaction is that it may feel a little vague. First: Why in a single year? He has a due date - if so, it may be expressed wit shome more urgency (Like A tormented guardian has only 365 days to rebuild a broken world...) I undRead more
Hi NavCR and thanks for your comments on my logline.
I read yours. My first reaction is that it may feel a little vague.
First: Why in a single year? He has a due date – if so, it may be expressed wit shome more urgency (Like A tormented guardian has only 365 days to rebuild a broken world…)
I understand the main hero is a guardian who, probably had done horrible things and that’s why he’s haunted by his past. Is that correct? Mmm… but they are irrational… So, are these horrors something he can’t even understand?
Now, who’s the princess and why is the guardian wanting to save her? Love? Is this a love story? I have that impression because if not, he would be saving the world.
I hope my questions help you. Now, I think this site is pretty dead, eh? No one shows up, no one makes comments… Weird.
Anyway-Have a great day.
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