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A crotchety old man goes to no end to get into Mexico with eight hundred thousand dollars in stolen money. He is faced with outwitting A deranged killer, Law enforcement, and a con woman.
Leaning towards: “A crotchety old thief must outwit a deranged killer, a rogue cop, and a con woman in order to escape to Mexico with 800,000 dollars” I took some liberties with your nebulous “law enforcement” — you get the idea. Consider a holy grail amount of stolen money to up the stakes. Make thRead more
Leaning towards:
“A crotchety old thief must outwit a deranged killer, a rogue cop, and a con woman in order to escape to Mexico with 800,000 dollars”
I took some liberties with your nebulous “law enforcement” — you get the idea.
Consider a holy grail amount of stolen money to up the stakes.
Make this yours, keep going!
See lessIn a last-ditch attempt to find ‘the one’, a cynical single Mother sets out to find answers to The 36 Questions That Lead To Love, and an unlikely romance ensues.
Let's look at the basic logline formula and plug in your logline: (When [a major event happens], a(n) [flaw + main character] must ([overcome the flaw], and) [do/pursue the main action/goal]. "In a last-ditch attempt to find ‘the one’" [major event] "a cynical single Mother" [flaw + Main charecter]Read more
Let’s look at the basic logline formula and plug in your logline: (When [a major event happens], a(n) [flaw + main character] must ([overcome the flaw], and) [do/pursue the main action/goal].
“In a last-ditch attempt to find ‘the one’” [major event]
“a cynical single Mother” [flaw + Main charecter]
“sets out to find answers to The 36 Questions That Lead To Love” [overcome the flaw]
“and an unlikely romance ensues.” [do/pursue the main action/goal]
Looking at the formula I feel like you have all the elements but they could be stronger. The major event seems vague. I’m not sure how or what is “the 36 questions that lead to love” is or how it will help her, and the unlikely romance feels more like a happenstance accident. Why is this mother making this last attempt to “find the one?”
Maybe try something like:
She doesn’t believe in love but is forced to write an article “The 36 Questions That Lead To Love” to keep her job. With the help of her best friend, she sets out on a hilarious journey, discovering love along the way.
See lessA soon to be father must save the family he never wanted after his nephew is hospitalized by a gang destroying his family.
I think you have a good idea, though you need to make it clearer to the reader as the words are a bit jumbled up. It also needs a bit more explaining, at least in a synopsis, because this confuses the reader and it's hard to follow the idea. This way you can have a great logline!
I think you have a good idea, though you need to make it clearer to the reader as the words are a bit jumbled up. It also needs a bit more explaining, at least in a synopsis, because this confuses the reader and it’s hard to follow the idea. This way you can have a great logline!
See less