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Two California girls must cooperate and stop a psychotic cat lady from releasing the big cats from their cages and terrorizing the school kids and the entire zoo.
Hi RallGamm97 I find the logline as it is written a little bit confusing. Where are the cats coming from and who are the kids? Is there a school right next to the zoo? Why do only the kids and the zoo get terrorised when she releases them? Is she a zookeeper? Also, California girls is a vague descriRead more
Hi RallGamm97
I find the logline as it is written a little bit confusing. Where are the cats coming from and who are the kids? Is there a school right next to the zoo? Why do only the kids and the zoo get terrorised when she releases them? Is she a zookeeper? Also, California girls is a vague description to me, and we get from the rest of the logline that they have to cooperate. Maybe try to distill this one down to the three major elements of a logline: “Protagonist +. Struggle with Antagonist + Death Stakes (literal or metaphorical).”
For example: “Two quarrelling girls must stop a psychotic zoo keeper from unleashing the vicious great cats close to a ground school.”
Hope the helps
See lessBeeZeeBee
A young woman discovers she has an alter ego as a crime fighting superhero in a bunny costume.
Sounds fun. Up the intrigue with a back story for this costume e.g., “… second-hand OR vintage bunny costume”. Who is this [before arc] young woman? E.g., “A cardboard bus driver ...” Take care.
Sounds fun.
Up the intrigue with a back story for this costume e.g., “… second-hand OR vintage bunny costume”.
Who is this [before arc] young woman? E.g., “A cardboard bus driver …”
Take care.
See lessA college football star’s dream of turning pro is jeopardized when he’s charged with the task of caring for his niece following his sister’s tragic death.
"college football star" = protagonist "dream of turning pro" = main character goal "jeopardized when he me must care for niece following his sister’s tragic death" = inciting incident Great logline! Has all three important elements, character, goal & conflict. Even has strong emotional qualitiesRead more
“college football star” = protagonist
“dream of turning pro” = main character goal
“jeopardized when he me must care for niece following his sister’s tragic death” = inciting incident
Great logline! Has all three important elements, character, goal & conflict. Even has strong emotional qualities, with death of a sister.
Going deep, does this then mean the ‘niece’ is the antagonist? Seems to be the principle character preventing a hero from achieving his goal.
If so, a possible refinement might be to add a layer of psychology. What kind of character might the niece be? What if she had internal traits directly opposite to the football star? For example, she might be very affectionate, and he might be cold and heartless. Or, she might be sad and remorseful, while he might just want to get on with life. Such a refinement may really add to character arch – a heartless football star -> transforms into -> a warm and loving uncle …
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