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  1. Posted: September 7, 2021In: SciFi

    A linguist helps government to decipher an alien communication to understand their mysterious and globally alarming presence on earth.

    Cajsa Penpusher
    Added an answer on September 7, 2021 at 2:56 am

    Great job! I kind of miss the major event in the beginning of the logline instead of at the end. But it works! Also, try adding the stakes into logline, the clock ticking and/or the consequence of what happens if she doesn't succeed.

    Great job! I kind of miss the major event in the beginning of the logline instead of at the end. But it works! Also, try adding the stakes into logline, the clock ticking and/or the consequence of what happens if she doesn’t succeed.

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  2. Posted: September 4, 2021In: Adventure

    We are One with all there is. When the darkness of the Roman Empire grows too strong four people are brought together by those of the light to make the Empire begin to crumble and fall.

    Odie Samurai
    Added an answer on September 7, 2021 at 2:49 am

    Consider the following: I can envision an expanse of the Roman empire, but what brought these four protags together and “those of the light” is not in focus. Check out examples in Formula (link header) to help. When a [CHARACTER], is [confronted by a MAJOR EVENT], s/he must [do the ACTION/GOAL]. or:Read more

    Consider the following:
    I can envision an expanse of the Roman empire, but what brought these four protags together and “those of the light” is not in focus.

    Check out examples in Formula (link header) to help.
    When a [CHARACTER], is [confronted by a MAJOR EVENT], s/he must [do the ACTION/GOAL].
    or:
    A [CHARACTER], must [do the ACTION/GOAL] when [a MAJOR EVENT occurs].

    Hope you find this constructive, take care.

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  3. Posted: September 3, 2021In: Historical

    When insecure Michelangelo flees to Florence after the pope asks him to paint the Sistine Chapel, he meets an unlikely mentor in a palm reader who prods him into battling his fears so he can become one of the world’s greatest artists.

    Odie Samurai
    Added an answer on September 7, 2021 at 2:26 am

    I did some research in the attempt to refashion into an insecure Michelangelo meeting palm reader, paints “The fortune Teller” which gives him the self-confidence to paint the Sistine Chapel, but history showed otherwise 😉 1512 (Sistine Chapel ceiling) 1594 / 1595 (The Fortune Teller) Consider addinRead more

    I did some research in the attempt to refashion into an insecure Michelangelo meeting palm reader, paints “The fortune Teller” which gives him the self-confidence to paint the Sistine Chapel, but history showed otherwise 😉
    1512 (Sistine Chapel ceiling)
    1594 / 1595 (The Fortune Teller)

    Consider adding color to this palm reader, she’s a rumored witch or town drunk.

    Leaning towards:
    “When commanded by the Pope to paint the Sistine Chapel, an insecure Michelangelo flees to Florence only to find himself an unlikely mentor in a palm reader”

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