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Fear of monetary demise turns the globe into a top-security prison; Buddha senses implosion; looms with a pragmatic paragon to unzip recession and stress from deceptive human life; enlightens three lost children who endure from NASA plane crash in Vedic woods.
Interesting premise, consider the following: 1. I struggle with your major event - the fifth Buddha’s return / following these three youngsters. 2. Your world is great, but who is your baddie? 3. Concerning the three youngsters, is the fifth Buddha reborn through one of them? Example: “In a collapsiRead more
Interesting premise, consider the following:
1. I struggle with your major event – the fifth Buddha’s return / following these three youngsters.
2. Your world is great, but who is your baddie?
3. Concerning the three youngsters, is the fifth Buddha reborn through one of them?
Example:
“In a collapsing global police state, a reincarnate fifth Buddha sets out to restore nirvana to the world”
I only have a basic understanding of Buddhism – maybe use my thoughts/questions as a good example of your typical reader.
Keep going, take care.
See lessA horse rider develops a relationship with a woman in order to help overcome her fear of horses.
I don't understand how the protagonist can be described as a being a "horse rider" when they are also described as having a fear of horse riding. Does the protagonist have a mental disability and is seeking equine therapy? Or perhaps the protagonist was a former jockey and is recovering from fallingRead more
I don’t understand how the protagonist can be described as a being a “horse rider” when they are also described as having a fear of horse riding. Does the protagonist have a mental disability and is seeking equine therapy? Or perhaps the protagonist was a former jockey and is recovering from falling off a horse mid-race and wants to shake off her newfound fear of horse riding?
Currently the character in your logline does make much sense and this is bad since character is one of the most crucial things to communicate in a logline. Once found a way to better describe your character you then need to consider how to best describe the story, I need more of an understanding as the details of the relationship with the “woman” since it is not explained how that is related to the protagonist’s fear of horses.
See lessStill stuck in their rebellious college phase, a mid 30’s guy and girl best friends are forced to finally enter adulthood when the guy’s short term girlfriend becomes unexpectedly pregnant.
Dig it, leaning towards: “Two thirtysomething ex-coed partygoers are on a collision course with adulthood when one of their flings unexpectedly ends up pregnant” Take care.
Dig it, leaning towards:
“Two thirtysomething ex-coed partygoers are on a collision course with adulthood when one of their flings unexpectedly ends up pregnant”
Take care.
See less