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  1. Posted: January 6, 2021In: SciFi

    Chris has been brutalized throughout the history of mankind, turned into a demon by God, he vows to stop mankind’s brutal rampage

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on January 7, 2021 at 2:18 am

    How? Who is Chris? (other than a demon). How has he been brutalised throughout the history of mankind and why is that relevant to the story other than a bit of back-story? Will doing this turn him back to what he was? Mankind's brutal rampage against....? Without understanding all of this, I don't rRead more

    How? Who is Chris? (other than a demon). How has he been brutalised throughout the history of mankind and why is that relevant to the story other than a bit of back-story? Will doing this turn him back to what he was? Mankind’s brutal rampage against….?

    Without understanding all of this, I don’t really understand the story. Most demons are bad guys, so you’ve to make sure his quest is something the audience will get behind. For that we need specifics.

    We really don’t need his name. I’d rather know who he is.

    By telling us he was turned into a demon by God, that suggests to me his goal is to be turned back? Is that the case? If so, make it sound like the goal in the logline, if not, I’d consider removing it altogether. Just referring to him as a *insert characteristic here* demon will do the job.

    I’d say this is more Fantasy than SciFi.

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  2. Posted: January 6, 2021In: Action

    EMPIRE

    Odie Samurai
    Added an answer on January 7, 2021 at 2:14 am

    Dig it! -Who is Adam Meyer e.g., warrior, simple farmer, office worker? -Who teaches the ancient ways e.g., master, sensei, monk? Leaning towards: “In a dystopian golden city ruled by a tyrannical emperor, a * must master the ancient ways from * to exact revenge for the execution of his insurgent wiRead more

    Dig it!
    -Who is Adam Meyer e.g., warrior, simple farmer, office worker?
    -Who teaches the ancient ways e.g., master, sensei, monk?
    Leaning towards:
    “In a dystopian golden city ruled by a tyrannical emperor, a * must master the ancient ways from * to exact revenge for the execution of his insurgent wife”

    BTW: For your next logline post add the logline at the top and your title at the bottom. Also, the Formula link at the top has all kinds of tips to help you construct a logline.

    Take care.

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  3. Posted: March 29, 2017In: Comedy

    FARTACUS ? An NC-17 bawdy adventure set in Ancient Rome: When a lowly slave is mistaken for aristocratic progeny he has one chance to outwits rivals, seduce virgin nobles, and con the Gods on his improbable road to becoming Caesar.

    CLAY53 Penpusher
    Added an answer on January 6, 2021 at 9:53 am

    Love the concept. Not a logline yet. Can't wait to see this movie.

    Love the concept. Not a logline yet. Can’t wait to see this movie.

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