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  1. Posted: August 8, 2020In: Drama

    Three friends come together, who once had decided not to meet again. They get together to find their fourth friend.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on August 9, 2020 at 7:06 am

    This isn't really a logline, it's a situation. That being said, I think it's an interesting premise. Three friends, who were never planning on meeting again, coming together to find their missing friend. You need to be specific though. Is their 4th friend missing? Is that the inciting incident? We nRead more

    This isn’t really a logline, it’s a situation.

    That being said, I think it’s an interesting premise. Three friends, who were never planning on meeting again, coming together to find their missing friend. You need to be specific though. Is their 4th friend missing? Is that the inciting incident? We need to follow one of these three as the protagonist so write it from their perspective.

    We also need to understand why this is so difficult. What obstacles are standing in their way? Who’s trying to stop them? We need an antagonist, and we need stakes. What will happen if they don’t find him? Is he in danger?

    Surely the title is “And then they were three” since they’ve lost one?

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  2. Posted: August 7, 2020In: Drama

    After a family friend of her dies unexpectedly of cancer, a nanny’s life goes on a downward spiral struggles with alcoholism while raising a young girl whom she adopted.

    hobbes Logliner
    Added an answer on August 7, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    Did not understand the purpose of the nanny. Is the young girl daughter of family friend for whom the nanny wants to protect and bring up as a good citizen? Also did not understand the conflict .. does the adopted girl not like the nanny or are there any other external challenges? Mostly did not undRead more

    Did not understand the purpose of the nanny. Is the young girl daughter of family friend for whom the nanny wants to protect and bring up as a good citizen?
    Also did not understand the conflict .. does the adopted girl not like the nanny or are there any other external challenges?
    Mostly did not understand the connection between death of a family friend and the adopted young girl if there is any.

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  3. Posted: August 7, 2020In: Coming of Age

    After being disgracefully fired for cheating from his billion-dollar startup, penniless maverick joins his ex-girlfriend’s bankrupt company to regain his lost glory

    vivien Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 7, 2020 at 5:33 am

    The story sounds interesting. It could be a comedy as well. I have a couple of questions: 1. What does the maverick expect from joining a bankrupt company? Does he intend to turn it around? 2. What may prevent him from regaining his lost glory? 3. Why is he penniless? He had a billion dollar startupRead more

    The story sounds interesting. It could be a comedy as well. I have a couple of questions:

    1. What does the maverick expect from joining a bankrupt company? Does he intend to turn it around?

    2. What may prevent him from regaining his lost glory?

    3. Why is he penniless? He had a billion dollar startup before he got fired. It’s logical that he’d still have a good amount of money when he was fired unless he was incarcerated and forced to pay a hefty fine for his crime.

    In a logline you are clear about the character (the penniless maverick), the inciting incident (he’s fired from his job), and his dramatic need (to regain his lost glory). What’s missing is the conflict/antagonistic force (person) that may prevent him from achieving his goal. Without this element, you don’t have a story.

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