1. Posted: July 20, 2020In:

    Ramona, an introverted high school girl, unknowingly helps a disguised magical spirit, and in return is awakened to the inevitable destructive fate of her world. Ramona must flee her seemingly protected, privileged city and upbringing, to journey through an impoverished but enchanting land to reach the world’s one true saviour, who is to be found on top of a distant mountain.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>to reach the world’s one true saviour, who is to be found on top of a distant mountain. How will reaching the top of a distant mountain save her world? If this guy (or gal) is omnipotent enough to save her world, then isn't he/she also omniscient to know it needs saving? So why doesn't tRead more

    >>>to reach the world’s one true saviour, who is to be found on top of a distant mountain.

    How will reaching the top of a distant mountain save her world? If this guy (or gal) is omnipotent enough to save her world, then isn’t he/she also omniscient to know it needs saving? So why doesn’t the savior just do his/her job?

    Also, it is ultimately the job of the protagonist to save her story world. But in this plot, she outsources her job to someone else.

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  2. Posted: July 20, 2020In:

    When a dead beat accidentally gets injected with an experimental brain implant giving him the ability to learn anything instantly, he must use his new abilities to take down the nefarious group who’ll stop at nothing to get the implant back

    dpg Singularity

    Since he can learn anything *instantly*, that means he can rapidly and easily outwit the bad guys, figure his way out of every snare the plot lays for him, right? So, what is there for the audience to worry about? What's to sustain and escalate suspense?

    Since he can learn anything *instantly*, that means he can rapidly and easily outwit the bad guys, figure his way out of every snare the plot lays for him, right?

    So, what is there for the audience to worry about? What’s to sustain and escalate suspense?

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  3. Posted: July 20, 2020In:

    After cyborgs invade their planet, a cyborg hunter and his crew must stop them from destroying the human race.

    Scott Danzig Samurai

    Finds himself is an ambiguous inciting incident. Maybe something like “crash-lands in” or “gets stranded on”... then you need to add some connection between his presence and the invasion. Maybe a logline like this: When a cyborg hunter crash-lands on a cyborg planet, he learns of their plan to invadRead more

    Finds himself is an ambiguous inciting incident. Maybe something like “crash-lands in” or “gets stranded on”… then you need to add some connection between his presence and the invasion. Maybe a logline like this:

    When a cyborg hunter crash-lands on a cyborg planet, he learns of their plan to invade his home world and must find a way to stop them.

    You could also try to make it so he inadvertently instigates the war.

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