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When a veteran intelligence officer, struggling to adjust to post-war life, begins to find secret codes everywhere she must follow the trail to satisfy her obsession. No matter how far that takes her.
What are the stakes? What does she gain by deciphering the codes? What will she lose if she doesn't.
What are the stakes? What does she gain by deciphering the codes? What will she lose if she doesn’t.
See lessWhen he learns his wife is planning to kill him, a rich man invites her secret lovers to a dinner party, and offers them each a fortune to kill her first.
An interesting idea, but suggest it needs vetting. Like, how can her lovers be a "secret" -- but he knows who they are so he can invite them to a dinner party? I suggest narrowing the focus down to a triangulation of characters: the rich guy and his philandering wife and her lover. Maybe something lRead more
An interesting idea, but suggest it needs vetting.
Like, how can her lovers be a “secret” — but he knows who they are so he can invite them to a dinner party?
I suggest narrowing the focus down to a triangulation of characters: the rich guy and his philandering wife and her lover.
Maybe something like:
After he learns his unfaithful wife intends to kill him, a wealthy man offers a million dollars to her lover to kill her first. (24 words0
Or mix it up: the wife offers to pay her lover to kill her husband — and then he counters with an equally lucrative reward for the lover to kill her.
Or they both have lovers and both offer their lovers a $1 million to kill the other spouse. Who will collect first?
Anyway, the premise can go down any one of several plot paths — which is a good sign.
See lessA young cadet surveyor of planets fights an evil force that has infiltrated the League of celestial nations for the purpose of extracting and transferring the life force of people to their own dying population.
"Young Cadet Surveyor of Planets" -> implies Naive, but doesn't state it. If this were my logline, I might reflect on a psychological depth of character ... "evil force" == stereotype. Personally I like stereotypes, as they reveal so much about our prejudice towards "Other" social groups. It's moRead more
“Young Cadet Surveyor of Planets” -> implies Naive, but doesn’t state it. If this were my logline, I might reflect on a psychological depth of character …
“evil force” == stereotype. Personally I like stereotypes, as they reveal so much about our prejudice towards “Other” social groups. It’s mostly the abstract quality of ‘evil force’ that is failing to create a mental image for me. Ditto “life force”.
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