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When a series of unusual deaths occur in an uncharted region of Alaska, an aspiring detective must retain his lawful morality in a hidden barbaric world to seek those responsible.
You don't have to add a detailed description of the story below your logline. If we don't understand your premise based on your logline, your logline is not ready. Your logline has to stand on its own. Now to your logline: I like it! Can visualize the story based on your wording. However, I would trRead more
You don’t have to add a detailed description of the story below your logline. If we don’t understand your premise based on your logline, your logline is not ready.
See lessYour logline has to stand on its own.
Now to your logline:
I like it! Can visualize the story based on your wording. However, I would try to find something better than “unusual”. Sounds too generic for me, because unusual can mean aliens, ghosts or just crazy murderers.
A wealthy oblivious drawing artist raised by animals unfreezes a painted river to stop his artistic ego from not seeing his forest-dwelling family before he moves away from home.
I do not understand the story world. If the kid wants to leave home, where would he go? Is the larger world full of human-like animals or is he crossing over to our world? Does he literally paint over the river or does he create a painting of the river? Is he rich and successful before the story begRead more
I do not understand the story world. If the kid wants to leave home, where would he go? Is the larger world full of human-like animals or is he crossing over to our world?
See lessDoes he literally paint over the river or does he create a painting of the river?
Is he rich and successful before the story begins?
Is the inciting incident the painting, or the discovery of the effects of the painting?
I would focus on the sites suggested log line format for now. [Flawed Protag] [Event] [Action]
Aged out of foster care, Eric Grid needs to learn magic to defend himself from psychic attacks on his path to become rich in the poker tournaments controlled by the mafia.
This logline is good but the structure is off. The best structure for a logline involves the three elements; the event, the character and the action. These elements must be organised into the sentence structure of; "when [an event] happens, a [character] must [the action]". For this logline your eveRead more
This logline is good but the structure is off. The best structure for a logline involves the three elements; the event, the character and the action. These elements must be organised into the sentence structure of; “when [an event] happens, a [character] must [the action]”. For this logline your event would be “When he becomes aged out of foster care” and your action would be “he learns magic to defend himself from psychic attacks”. Your character is completely wrong since you must use a character description and not their name, e.g. “a retired old man”.
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