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When a visiting dignitary is murdered, the na?ve youngest prince of a fairy-tale kingdom becomes the Watson to a Holmes-like detective. But, when the detective is also killed, the prince must solve the mystery on his own before the situation escalates into all-out war.
Hi Todd, Sorry, I missed your MPR on my first read (not because it wasn't clear, just because I must have been only 1 coffee down that morning! LOL)... totally understandable for a longer logline with an MPR. ?Having said that, so far I still prefer your second logline (another thought I had with thRead more
Hi Todd,
Sorry, I missed your MPR on my first read (not because it wasn’t clear, just because I must have been only 1 coffee down that morning! LOL)… totally understandable for a longer logline with an MPR. ?Having said that, so far I still prefer your second logline (another thought I had with the first was that a Holmes character is going to understandably draw a lot of limelight and it’s hard to lose a main protagonist character half way through the film (not that it can’t be done, it’s just hard to do well).
I do prefer the princess to the prince 😉 and I really like the idea of them being betrothed… something neither of them probably want, but it’s being arranged to stop a war between both nations… and of course, if the princess has been vocal about her dislike of him (on account of her being naive to court politics) then she’s also likely to be a suspect…love that and there’s tonnes of conflict!
I’m still not getting the leap from his death to warring nations though… It doesn’t have to be obvious, but it should be clear and less of a guess I’m feeling. ?Playing with the addition of an MPR, how about something along the lines of:
A?wilful but na?ve fairy-tale princess must convince rulers to release her?from the arranged marriage intended to bring peace to?their feuding nations, but when her betrothed prince is murdered, she must clear her name and expose the real killer?before the situation escalates into all-out war.
It’s probably too long… but just playing with options before you whittle it down 😉
See less?Liam Santos comes to town to become a great artist, there he meets and falls in love with Fabio Grun, a successful young lawyer.? A car accident leaves the couple in a coma, only one of them can live thanks to the heart of one of them and thus be able to fulfill their dreams. —
Please take a look at the "Formula" link at the top of the page. A logline should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. As concisely as possible, it should tell us something about the MC, the inciting incident that kickstarts the story, and the MC's objective given the inciting incideRead more
Please take a look at the “Formula” link at the top of the page. A logline should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. As concisely as possible, it should tell us something about the MC, the inciting incident that kickstarts the story, and the MC’s objective given the inciting incident. None of your suggested loglines gives us the information needed to evaluate the story.
I think that in your case, the MC is the one who survives, so write the logline from the viewpoint of the survivor. Mike Pedley has suggested is may be someone else altogether, if so write the logline from the POV of that person.
Remember, a logline is not a tagline. Taglines are designed to attract audiences. That is where you use flowery phrases like “A fatal accident tries to separate a love without limits”. A logline should be more objective.
See lessFired and dumped, a directionless young man takes a pizza delivery job, but when he is mistakenly given the kiss of death by a psychotic mafia boss, he must outsmart the mob to survive and save the love of his life.
There is no indication that the "love of his life" is in danger or in need of being saved. You can tighten up the logline by dropping that part: When a down-and-out pizza delivery man is mistakenly given the kiss of death by a psychotic mafia boss, he must outsmart the mob to survive.
There is no indication that the “love of his life” is in danger or in need of being saved. You can tighten up the logline by dropping that part:
When a down-and-out pizza delivery man is mistakenly given the kiss of death by a psychotic mafia boss, he must outsmart the mob to survive.
See less