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A woman from the Rust Belt strives for fame and glory by entering the Chicago marathon, but after she unexpectedly gets pregnant is faced with a tragic decision.
As Keymiser asked.? What's so tragic about being pregnant?? Yes, it is an inconvenience, a complication to her marathon ambitions.? But how is it the inciting incident to a tragedy?
As Keymiser asked.? What’s so tragic about being pregnant?? Yes, it is an inconvenience, a complication to her marathon ambitions.? But how is it the inciting incident to a tragedy?
See lessArriving in Australia to find her brother missing and the police unwilling to conduct an investigation, a relentless Indian woman follows clues and her gut as she heads deeper into a dangerous underground world of racism and hatred.
This is certainly a topical story idea.A crude rewriteWhen an Indian woman comes to Australia to find out why her brother has vanished, she must overcome the ethnic hatred of the local police chief and community to discover what happened before her visa expires.(36 words)Notes:*Hit the ground with tRead more
This is certainly a topical story idea.
A crude rewrite
When an Indian woman comes to Australia to find out why her brother has vanished, she must overcome the ethnic hatred of the local police chief and community to discover what happened before her visa expires.
(36 words)
Notes:
*Hit the ground with the plot in 1st gear. shifting into 2nd.? She’s visiting Australia because he’s vanished.? No one she’s contacted from India has a clue or seems to care.
*ID the main character sooner rather than 1/2 way into the logline.
* Suggest persistent or tenacious may be better terms for her defining characteristic.
*The general ethnic bias lacks a face.? It should be personified in a primary antagonist.? Like a police chief who has no interest in investigating his disappearance .
* Visa:? inserts a ticking clock, a deadline, for her to solve the case. (Albeit, the standard tourist visa is good for 12 weeks.? Maybe too long for the narrative.? Maybe there an be some constraint that requires her to leave sooner.? Like she only has so much money.? Whatever.)
Best wishes with the script.
fwiw
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See lessTo fund her tuition to become a pilot, a small-town girl joins forces with a closely guarded circle of elite air hostesses to smuggle blood diamonds from Sierra Leone, only to discover the seductive world of the criminal rich. She is forced to overcome the alluring alpha of the clique, before she becomes one of them. [Title: Diamond in the Rough]
As Nir Shelter said.And it's not a matter that she needs to pull out "before she becomes one of them". And as soon as she starts smuggling and profiting from blood diamonds, she's is one of them. She's become corrupt, made an ethically reprehensible choice.? So it seems to me that the dramatic issueRead more
As Nir Shelter said.
And it’s not a matter that she needs to pull out “before she becomes one of them”. And as soon as she starts smuggling and profiting from blood diamonds, she’s is one of them. She’s become corrupt, made an ethically reprehensible choice.? So it seems to me that the dramatic issue is when/how will she come to her moral senses and clean up her act.
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