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When a devoted ex criminal desired to start a righteous past completes her prison term, she is dragged back into the criminal underworld after her son is kidnapped by her ex crime mob boss and forced to complete numerous tasks, before he ends up dead.
A reformed ex-convict is forced to xxxx when her old boss kidnaps her son. You don?t need to be too poetic. Add words that can have a direct impact on the visuals of the film. So a person can see what you are describing. Plus a reformed person desires all the things you talk about.
A reformed ex-convict is forced to xxxx when her old boss kidnaps her son.
You don?t need to be too poetic. Add words that can have a direct impact on the visuals of the film. So a person can see what you are describing.
Plus a reformed person desires all the things you talk about.
See lessAfter rescuing a baby found outside of her family’s cabin,? an apathetic teen must shelter him from the approaching blizzard and fend off relentless attacks from his monstrous, “Parent,” until the storm passes.
I am unapathetic about the use of the term "apathetic".I suggest that in a logline when a character is tagged with a character flaw, it should be a flaw that will handicap his ability to succeed, that should plague him until at least the 3rd Act.So taking this logline at face value, the kid is goingRead more
I am unapathetic about the use of the term “apathetic”.
I suggest that in a logline when a character is tagged with a character flaw, it should be a flaw that will handicap his ability to succeed, that should plague him until at least the 3rd Act.
So taking this logline at face value, the kid is going to rescue a baby — but remain apathetic, “whatever man”. There’s an approaching blizzard — but he? so what? He remains apathetic about it.? He must fend off numerous attacks from some kind of monstrous “parent” — but, hey, he’s not just cool and calm about the attacks, he doesn’t give a damn, he remains apathetic.
That just doesn’t isn’t credible and I’m guessing that isn’t your intention.? But I can’t read your mind; I can only read the words in the logline.
I suggest tagging him with a character flaw that will handicap him up until at least the 3rd Act.? A flaw that he must come to realize and overcome in order to prevail.? Not a transient flaw that will evaporate as soon as the plot kicks into 2nd gear.
Take Rick in “Casablanca”.? In Act 1 he declares the doesn’t stick his neck out for anyone. Does he drop that attitude as soon as Elsa appears in his gin joint toward the end of Act 1?? Begin to stick his neck out for others or for a great cause?
No.?
He digs in, refuses to help her and her husband get the letters of transit they need to flee the Nazis.? He doesn’t stick his neck out until the 3rd Act.
fwiw
See lessWhen the town of Highsdale receives its demonic visitors through a mysterious Hellgate, a teenage high school student battles a malevolent evil seeking to break the lineage of the Huntresses and unleash a hellish apocalypse.
For me this instantly read Buffy the Vampire Slayer (if it weren't for the change of town name, I could have thought this was for the Examples section): Highsdale - Sunnydale Demonic visitors - demons and vampires Hellgate - Hellmouth High school student - as per Lineage of the Huntresses - lineageRead more
For me this instantly read Buffy the Vampire Slayer (if it weren’t for the change of town name, I could have thought this was for the Examples section):
You didn’t mention a gender, but Richiev used ‘her’ in his rewrite and I wonder if this is because it suggested the same to him.
Don’t get me wrong, this is the kind of thing I can watch over and over again – in fact it’s the type of thing I’m trying to find an angle on at present. ?I suppose that’s my point, I’d be tempted to rethink an approach or angle where you’re offering the same kind of thing, only different enough to stand alone and peak someone’s interest.
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