1. Posted: December 19, 2019In:

    (First revision) When townsfolk reject an attention-craving man by magically transforming him into a ghost, he must seek the help of other rejected ghosts in order to find a way to break the curse before it becomes permanent.

    dpg Singularity

    Scott: Suggestion: go Kafkaesque with your premise. In Franz Kafka's "The Trial", Joseph K. is arrested and put on a trial.? But he doesn't why, what he is accused of doing, what he is supposed to be guilty.? And no one will tell him even as he's found guilty and sentenced to death. So have a modernRead more

    Scott:

    Suggestion: go Kafkaesque with your premise. In Franz Kafka’s “The Trial”, Joseph K. is arrested and put on a trial.? But he doesn’t why, what he is accused of doing, what he is supposed to be guilty.? And no one will tell him even as he’s found guilty and sentenced to death.

    So have a modern day Joseph K.? He’s popular,? lots of friends on Facebook, followers on Twitter, etc.? Maybe he’s even a celebrity, a social influencer on the internet.? Whatever.

    Then the inciting incident:? he wakes up one day to find he has been ghosted.? By the whole world.? No one will respond to him on social media or email; no one reads his Twitters or “likes” anything he posts on Facebook or on Instagram.? No one emails him or responds to emails; no one calls or return his calls.? He doesn’t know why, what he has done wrong, and no one will tell him.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: December 17, 2019In:

    An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge.

    Tony Edward Samurai

    For me - the profession is neither here nor there-- the issue is in the vagueness of the complication -- "...only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge...". Without this being specified I don't really know what this is about (the core function of a logline...) other than a dude (and an aRead more

    For me – the profession is neither here nor there– the issue is in the vagueness of the complication — “…only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge…”. Without this being specified I don’t really know what this is about (the core function of a logline…) other than a dude (and an arrogant one at that…) trying to track down his (current?) girlfriend… which is kinda ‘blerrr’. Definitely has potential if you can give us more of what the complication is… or put another way — at the moment there is no “Why..?”

     

    Best of luck with it 🙂

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  3. Posted: December 19, 2019In:

    When his devout daughter is possessed by the spirits of two revengeful children in order to exact revenge on their remorseless nurse, an accused and suspended priest must pull himself together and exorcise her before she kills the nurse- who happens to be his wife.

    Scott Danzig Samurai

    I'm honestly not getting much intrigue out of your explanation about why the children are angry.? I think the priest being "suspended" in some way is interesting.? And him trying to expunge the spirits from his daughter before they kill his wife is interesting.? I think this would make for a very clRead more

    I’m honestly not getting much intrigue out of your explanation about why the children are angry.? I think the priest being “suspended” in some way is interesting.? And him trying to expunge the spirits from his daughter before they kill his wife is interesting.? I think this would make for a very clean logline too:

    A disgraced priest must exorcise vengeful spirits from his daughter before she kills his wife.

    Definitely see if others agree and disagree with me, however, before taking my advice.

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