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Minutes after a woman flies solo into motherhood with artificial insemination, she meets Mr. Right who thinks she’s his dream girl–but isn’t ready for children.
Using my as-yet paid-for artistic license, this is what i would have done with this: "Despite knowing he was the backup plan for the love of his love, a forlorn man is horrified to realize after helping her get pregnant she just met her Mr. Right, and is determined to win her heart at all costs." ThRead more
Using my as-yet paid-for artistic license, this is what i would have done with this:
“Despite knowing he was the backup plan for the love of his love, a forlorn man is horrified to realize after helping her get pregnant she just met her Mr. Right, and is determined to win her heart at all costs.”
This tracks to a differing place but offers a ramped up plot line.
See lessMary believes that she is having a cryptic pregnancy, but her doctor and her boyfriend don?t believe her. After she gives birth at home her child is taken from her by mysterious government organization, Mary has to fight her own self doubt to recover her child and prove her sanity.
Kind of like a horror retelling of the Jesus birth story... in concept, it sounds good, but in its current form the logline isn't working. It's too wordy and most readers won't get past the logic flaws.? Also, best to define one goal, and in this case, her sanity pales in comparison to finding her bRead more
Kind of like a horror retelling of the Jesus birth story… in concept, it sounds good, but in its current form the logline isn’t working.
It’s too wordy and most readers won’t get past the logic flaws.? Also, best to define one goal, and in this case, her sanity pales in comparison to finding her baby.
See lessAfter a timid young adult is saved from armed assailants by a beautiful vampire, he is manipulated and trained by her coven to track down his elusive uncle: the de facto leader of the vampire hunters.
3rd Revision (edit to fix typos)After a timid young adult, ignorant to the supernatural, is saved by a beautiful vampire from an attack orchestrated by his uncle attempting to eliminate opposition to his rule, they work together to track down and kill his newfound relative: the de facto leader of thRead more
3rd Revision (edit to fix typos)
After a timid young adult, ignorant to the supernatural, is saved by a beautiful vampire from an attack orchestrated by his uncle attempting to eliminate opposition to his rule, they work together to track down and kill his newfound relative: the de facto leader of the Vampire Hunters before they themselves are killed.
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