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  1. Posted: December 1, 2019In: SciFi

    A memory damaged young man wakes impossibly from a long-term coma determined to find himself before it’s too late

    Ninann22 Logliner
    Added an answer on December 1, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    I agree. It?s missing a hurdle or at at stakes to push the protagonist and the story forward.This helps me brainstorm more when doing my loglines. 1. Identify the protagonist 2. Inciting incident. What blows the characters life apart? 3. Protagonist goal. 4. Central conflict. What obstacles that getRead more

    I agree. It?s missing a hurdle or at at stakes to push the protagonist and the story forward.This helps me brainstorm more when doing my loglines.
    1. Identify the protagonist
    2. Inciting incident. What blows the characters life apart?
    3. Protagonist goal.
    4. Central conflict. What obstacles that get in the way of your character. A antagonist or antagonistic forces.

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  2. Posted: November 28, 2019In: Family

    When Christmas HQ is to be torn down due to a lack of belief, a diffident new Santa rallies the other Santas to get children believing again, but when nothing raises the belief-ometer he must find the real cause before Christmas morning.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on December 1, 2019 at 10:57 am

    Richiev's version is simple and works well. A question that comes to mind is why did children stop believing in the first place? In other words, it would be great to include a unique antagonist in the logline. It could be a pop culture icon that's captured the youth's imagination, an addictive sociaRead more

    Richiev’s version is simple and works well.

    A question that comes to mind is why did children stop believing in the first place?

    In other words, it would be great to include a unique antagonist in the logline. It could be a pop culture icon that’s captured the youth’s imagination, an addictive social media platform or a video game manufacturer.

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  3. Posted: November 28, 2019In: Historical

    An old, abusive slave owner switches body with his slave who gives him a taste of his own medicine

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on December 1, 2019 at 10:50 am

    Agreed with the above. It would be better if both slave and owner learn something. The lesson the owner undergoes is obvious, but the slave's isn't. What if after the slave inhabits the owner's body, he becomes hell-bent on revenge, gets it, but then wants more. The audience should be happy to see tRead more

    Agreed with the above.

    It would be better if both slave and owner learn something. The lesson the owner undergoes is obvious, but the slave’s isn’t.

    What if after the slave inhabits the owner’s body, he becomes hell-bent on revenge, gets it, but then wants more. The audience should be happy to see the owner get his comeuppance, but then if structured well, things change around the mid-point. The slave ventures on a dark path, and the more he keeps trying to avenge the injustice he received, the more he realises that he’s crossed a line and is becoming as bad as his former tormentor.

    Just a thought.

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