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After finding out his moms artificial heart is failing, a low level hacker navigates a seedy cyberpunk underworld to do whatever it takes to keep her alive.
Hi biscayneCreative, I think you should relate "a seedy cyberpunk underworld" to "his mom's artificial heart that is failing". I mean what is he looking for in a seedy cyberpunk underworld? What is he hoping to achieve by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? How can he save his mom's life by navRead more
Hi biscayneCreative,
I think you should relate “a seedy cyberpunk underworld” to “his mom’s artificial heart that is failing”. I mean what is he looking for in a seedy cyberpunk underworld? What is he hoping to achieve by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? How can he save his mom’s life by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? Also IF something is stopping him? Any challenges (if any)?
I suggest you re-write and ask again.
See lessA shy genius tries to woo an eccentric girl on their Halloween date, only to discover she is a witch with many mysteries.
Story is conflict I am not seeing a conflict in the logline. If the lead character came from a long line of witch hunters, there would be a conflict If the witch was an evil witch who planned on eating children, there would be a conflict Where is the conflict? (and by where is the conflict I mean itRead more
Story is conflict
I am not seeing a conflict in the logline.
If the lead character came from a long line of witch hunters, there would be a conflict
If the witch was an evil witch who planned on eating children, there would be a conflict
Where is the conflict? (and by where is the conflict I mean it needs to be in the logline)
See lessA babysitter gets prank calls from a mysterious caller gets in a home invasion happens to be an child abductor who abused her in her childhood.
You have been doing this long enough to know this one isn't up to snuff... Try another take, there is a story here. But the logline needs work.
You have been doing this long enough to know this one isn’t up to snuff…
See lessTry another take, there is a story here. But the logline needs work.