Thanks for the feedback everyone. I agree with everyone’s points. I personally don’t think it’s a good logline – even as a working one. It’s very busy. (Which would make it hard to pitch and for someone to digest.)

Also – I put this exact logline up several months back and it got a vote.

Yet another reminder to stand by your ideas regardless of what people are telling you. The industry is subjective.

Hi Trix,

Speaking from experience: I put a logline up 6 months ago that got 3 votes and resonated with people. I put it up again – and it’s not quite the same response.

One has to remember how horribly subjective this industry is. “Nobody knows anything” and it’s true. You have to stand by your ideas – because no one really knows what will be a hit. You could come up with the perfect logline and writing it may end up being a soulless experience (because it’s not quite the thing you want to write) and there’s no real certainty it will sell or generate any heat.

You just never know. Even with a high concept.

Admittedly – a lot of the loglines I put up were old and I did for practice. But one must remember “quality over quantity”.

Hmm? as the others have pointed out, this needs a hook (and a good one to be able to compete with other films set like this)? at the moment you have a backdrop?

I agree it does need something – as it doesn’t hugely turn me on as well.

I spoke to a fairly big-time writer/director who told me that loglines are just silly marketing tools and “don’t write for the market, write what you want to write, the odds are against you anyways”. (I’m not telling you who this was btw ha – but, he advised me to watch a lot of films in my genre and do what hasn’t been done. Not unlike a hook.)

I’m on the fence here. Certainly – a strong logline/concept fixes problems before they’ve started. A strong (high) concept makes it easier for everyone down the line – writer, manager, agent, etc. Same time – trying to come up with the perfect logline is writing for the market. You’re changing your idea to conform to what other people want to see. That’s the dilemma, right – we’re all writing to sell, well all want to have more than one person in the audience ha. Same time – you need to stick by what you think is right and what you want to do.

It’s a terrible thing to compromise your vision. Okay – rant over.

(My manager keeps trying to get me to shoehorn a real person into something so we can make it more marketable. The whole idea makes me sick to my stomach.)

Thank you for your notes. Some brilliant ideas there.

The images conjured up reminds me of YOUNG ADULT. I think if I continued with the idea – I’d have to do an overview and ask a lot of questions. (I usually go through a series of checklists.) Admittedly – I wasn’t sure what direction it was going in (not a good sign). Whether it was a rom com or a midlife crisis dramedy. I didn’t know what it was.

FILM STARS looks cool.