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A grandfather (That dies) and his two granddaughters are stranded on an island for seven years. When the girls finally figure out how to get off the island, they find out the world is not civilized anymore because Sasquatches have taken over the city and possible the world. Please let me know your feedback. Thank you!
Agreed with DPG, the two plots rival each other for dominance over the concept. Best to focus on one in the logline and re draft. Why two daughters and why a grandfather? What is the advantage of multiple protagonists over one? That said unless the family dynamic is?a necessity in the plot it will fRead more
Agreed with DPG, the two plots rival each other for dominance over the concept. Best to focus on one in the logline and re draft.
Why two daughters and why a grandfather? What is the advantage of multiple protagonists over one? That said unless the family dynamic is?a necessity in the plot it will fall very close to Cast Away. The recent film Swiss Army Man differentiated itself from Cast Away by externalising the psychosis that the MC was experiencing, how will you make this concept different to either of these films?
It look sot me that the concept needs re thinking.
See lessAfter surviving an attack from a serial killer Laura Silan is thrown in to a world of secrets and mythology and inadvertently starts a war that she must in turn end while learning the secrets of her own power
I don't know who Laura Silan is, so don't mention her name.? Not until she's the next Harry Potter anyway.? :) I'm getting a lot of unanswered who-what-whys.? ? HOW is she thrown into a world of secrets and mythology? WHO is the war against?? WHAT type of war?? WHY must she learn the secrets of herRead more
I don’t know who Laura Silan is, so don’t mention her name.? Not until she’s the next Harry Potter anyway.? 🙂
I’m getting a lot of unanswered who-what-whys.? ? HOW is she thrown into a world of secrets and mythology? WHO is the war against?? WHAT type of war?? WHY must she learn the secrets of her power?
I guess it might be hard to summarise in a few words, but it needs something, otherwise it’s not clear.? I guess you know the important ones to answer.? e.g. The stakes? And which ones to leave out. e.g. “inadvertently”, because it implies passivity.
See lessTwins find themselves on opposing sides of an alien run government conspiracy that threatens to change humanity. While one brother carries out their plans and rises to the presidency, the other wages a war to stop him before it’s too late.
It seems to me that the hook of the story is the rivalry of twins (identical, right, not fraternal?). Despite their identical DNA, they have contradictory philosophies and grow up to become bitter political enemies. ?One plays the game with the ruling elite and allows himself to be used by them as tRead more
It seems to me that the hook of the story is the rivalry of twins (identical, right, not fraternal?). Despite their identical DNA, they have contradictory philosophies and grow up to become bitter political enemies. ?One plays the game with the ruling elite and allows himself to be used by them as their titular leader/sock puppet. ?The other becomes a revolutionary who wants to overthrow the ruling elite.
That has interesting dramatic potential. I am intrigued by the possibilities.
But I don’t see the purpose or need for the “alien-run” plot gimmick. ?Why does it takes aliens from another planet to set up the plot? ?What do they bring to the story? ?What is the threat to humanity besides subjugation and exploitation?
?IOW: since the genre is SciFi, ?what’s the SciFi gimmick that creates the threat? (Like in “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”).
fwiw
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