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In the year 2112, Tom Sawyer discovers a guitar, forbidden by The Priests of Syrinx. Embracing The Spirit of Radio, Tom wants to express his Freewill through music. Forced to Fly By Night, he uncovers a secret Closer to the Heart that threatens the governing technocracy.
Was he transported to 2112, already establishing a sci-fi element? Or is this a new story? Overall, I think you could get your three sentences down to one by eliminating repetition. This sounds a lot like the stage play "We Will Rock You." Personally, the Rush songs are not relatable to me but if thRead more
Was he transported to 2112, already establishing a sci-fi element? Or is this a new story? Overall, I think you could get your three sentences down to one by eliminating repetition. This sounds a lot like the stage play “We Will Rock You.” Personally, the Rush songs are not relatable to me but if this was a favorite band of mine, maybe it would hit more? Either way, this sounds like a great story for older rock fans. You would have to target very specifically when querying.
See lessA shell shocked soldier in post-invasion Europe has to decide between taking vengeance on the invaders or saving a group of forgotten teenagers after he’s been wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power.
"shell shocked soldier" = protagonist "he’s wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power" = inciting incident "vengeance on the invaders" = main character goal "saving a group of forgotten teenagers" = main character goal "post-invasion Europe " = setting The potential weakness, feRead more
“shell shocked soldier” = protagonist
“he’s wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power” = inciting incident
“vengeance on the invaders” = main character goal
“saving a group of forgotten teenagers” = main character goal
“post-invasion Europe ” = setting
The potential weakness, feels like it might be the double main character goals. While it is presented as a potential ‘Sophie’s Choice (1982)’, it lacks the depth of a moral dilemma.
External conflict is great, should character do X or do Y, but it is Internal Conflict that truly tears a character apart. Internal conflict is psychological. What type of character is our shell shocked soldier? Courageous? weak? sentimental? passionate? honorable?
An honorable character might choose serving his army, over saving forgotten teenagers. But a Sentimental character might choose saving teenagers, over seeking revenge.
Question: How might the inciting incident, cause our main character to have to make a choice? That is, the invading powers caused our teenagers to be forgotten, AND (riffing here, but maybe) the teenager is the daughter of the main character – then he would have to save her then! Right!
See lessA young conscript wants to return to his ordinary life, but his newfound ability to perceive changes in the timeline caused by time traveling rebels he is put on the front line. He must use his ability to stop the attacks before they rip the space time continuum to shreds and destroy the world.
Consider the following: A young conscript (draftee) that already wants to retire. Find a word that describes his before arc state e.g., battle-weary. A conscript of what army or campaign? Curious, his abilities put him on the front line of what Sci-Fi-related war? What’s the goal of these time-traveRead more
Consider the following:
A young conscript (draftee) that already wants to retire. Find a word that describes his before arc state e.g., battle-weary.
A conscript of what army or campaign? Curious, his abilities put him on the front line of what Sci-Fi-related war?
What’s the goal of these time-traveling rebels?
This is what I can glean:
A conscript must use his precognitive abilities to stop time-traveling rebels from doing…
Hope you find this constructive – keep going!
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