1. Posted: September 17, 2015In:

    An unforgiving former marine must enter his own mind to confront an unmerciful government assassin hidden within his subconsciousness who’s threatening to leak top secret files if his demands to have full control of their body aren’t meet by his government creators.

    steveylang Samurai

    Setting aside filmability concerns for a moment (which could perhaps be addressed by using Inception 'dreamworld' type scenes to show the conflict between protag and antag)... I don't like 'unforgiving' as the main descriptor for the marine. Is he hardened, repressed, disillusioned, traumatized, etcRead more

    Setting aside filmability concerns for a moment (which could perhaps be addressed by using Inception ‘dreamworld’ type scenes to show the conflict between protag and antag)…

    I don’t like ‘unforgiving’ as the main descriptor for the marine. Is he hardened, repressed, disillusioned, traumatized, etc.? Something like that would be a better description of his personality.

    I think Leon’s suggested log line is structurally better. Instead of “top secret files,” shouldn’t it be “top secret information”? (which could be visualized as files in the movie, as in Inception.) Actually, the more I think of it the more it seems like a reverse Inception-type in which protag and antag are reversed (not necessarily a bad thing.)

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  2. Posted: September 25, 2015In:

    A law-abiding citizen finds himself in a notorious gangland bar awaiting the arrival of his future self: a killer on the run who needs his help to stay alive.

    McCreedy Logliner

    Very interesting concept, but seems a little confusing. I had to read it several times to get the gist of the story. If I understand it, he as the killer is seeking the help of his young self to stay alive, which begs the question ? if he is such an up-right young man, why would he help is future kiRead more

    Very interesting concept, but seems a little confusing. I had to read it several times to get the gist of the story. If I understand it, he as the killer is seeking the help of his young self to stay alive, which begs the question ? if he is such an up-right young man, why would he help is future killer self? I am guessing here, but I imagine the story delves into that choice, and why is it is ultimate fear. Does he have homicidal tendencies as a young man? Does he struggle with those urges, but discovers he ultimately gave in to them and now sees the man he will become and must choose?

    These are the questions that pop into my mind when reading it, overall thought, I like the concept.

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  3. Posted: December 14, 2012In:

    A spaceship full of freaky clowns land on earth, a retired circus ringmaster must restore calm using the only thing that will save the world, his clown car.

    debbiemoon Penpusher

    A character-driven period piece is always going to be a really hard sell, so I think you have to load the logline with positive selling points. Is this a feel-good movie like It's A Wonderful Life? A 'state of the nation' piece teaching us moral and emotional lessons from history, like Forrest Gump?Read more

    A character-driven period piece is always going to be a really hard sell, so I think you have to load the logline with positive selling points.

    Is this a feel-good movie like It’s A Wonderful Life? A ‘state of the nation’ piece teaching us moral and emotional lessons from history, like Forrest Gump? Is it a star vehicle with an acting challenge for a lead actor. like Benjamin Button?

    What’s going to get “bums on seats” for this movie – and how can you make that clear in your logline?

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