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When the husband of a decent climate scientist gets mysteriously killed, she seeks out her old-time friend, a rough GMO-farmer, to find emotional support and to investigate why the aging process of living organisms has stopped across the globe.
Interesting premise. 1. The inciting incident is a death conspiracy – was looking for a living organism no longer aging to start the quest. 2. What qualifies a climate scientist and GMO-farmer also living organisms, to discover the key to the aging process? 3. What happens when they discover it – miRead more
Interesting premise.
1. The inciting incident is a death conspiracy – was looking for a living organism no longer aging to start the quest.
2. What qualifies a climate scientist and GMO-farmer also living organisms, to discover the key to the aging process?
3. What happens when they discover it – missing that.
Keep going, take care.
See lessThe U.S. govt., along with Nasa, devise a plot to relocate people of color to inhabit the moon; against their will!
Why? And more importantly, why do we care? The plot by the government could be to protect everyone of colour from a gang of racist aliens... Without a protagonist though, we're watching the news, not a movie.
Why? And more importantly, why do we care? The plot by the government could be to protect everyone of colour from a gang of racist aliens… Without a protagonist though, we’re watching the news, not a movie.
See lessEDITED: In Victorian London a ruthless spy battles a fanatic telepath to thwart his plot to kill the Queen and plunge the world into war.
This is cool and an interesting premise. I have a couple of minor points: - Is the fact that the spy is American fundamental? Admittedly, there's a fish out of water thing with it, but I wonder if your protagonist would be better off with a characteristic that suggests an arc. Or something that suggRead more
This is cool and an interesting premise.
I have a couple of minor points:
– Is the fact that the spy is American fundamental? Admittedly, there’s a fish out of water thing with it, but I wonder if your protagonist would be better off with a characteristic that suggests an arc. Or something that suggests how she, an individual with no special abilities, can take on someone with the power of telepathy.
– “Telepathic madman”… ok, so they telepathy thing is cool but I wonder if madman is the right choice. I think it could be stronger if he is described in a way that suggests he actually has a clear motive and a goal. He might be a madman, but that makes me think his actions are a result of his madness and potentially more erratic and less calculated. This is totally just my interpretation. The best villains act with complete certainty and a clarity of action that what they’re doing is right e.g. Thanos, Hans Gruber, Darth Vader. Food for thought.
– I think it might be worthwhile adding the ultimate goal of the antagonist. Why does he want to assassinate the Queen?
Hope this helps in some way.
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