1. Posted: September 4, 2019In:

    A NASA space drone pilot discovers a mysterious wormhole in space that could lead to preventing the deaths of his family three years previously.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    Richiev:When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must? (Then tell us what he does about it)I agree with Richiev. You miss the 3rd element of the logline, the ACTION (see the formula, here).CHARACTER: a NASA drone pilot.EVRead more

    Richiev:

    When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must? (Then tell us what he does about it)

    I agree with Richiev. You miss the 3rd element of the logline, the ACTION (see the formula, here).

    CHARACTER: a NASA drone pilot.
    EVENT: He discovers a wormhole.
    ACTION: He has to send the drone into the hole.

    Wait, what? Why is he a drone pilot? Major McConaughey must get his own ass in the hole. Otherwise what is the big deal about this movie’s action?

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  2. Posted: August 31, 2019In:

    An alchemist loses faith in humanity and roams Earth while she breaks her people’s code, manipulating the atoms of sentient beings to interact with friends, torment others, and fight an evil of her own design.

    yqwertz Mentor

    What is the inciting incident that causes the alchemist to lose faith in humanity? If the evil is her own design, why must she fight against it? Does she decide for some reason to save humanity from an evil she created? Check out the Formula and the Generator? links at the top of the page to see whaRead more

    What is the inciting incident that causes the alchemist to lose faith in humanity? If the evil is her own design, why must she fight against it? Does she decide for some reason to save humanity from an evil she created?

    Check out the Formula and the Generator? links at the top of the page to see what information should be in a logline.

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  3. Posted: August 27, 2019In:

    In a futuristic crime-free world, self-regulated by an omnipotent social media structure, an introspective policeman, re-purposed to chase down individuals who have not met minimum popularity standards, becomes disillusioned with is role and starts a quest for a mystic island where citizen live free from digital coercion.

    maxzorin Logliner

    My inspiration comes from a mix of Fahrenheit 451 (policemen re-purposed vs. fire fighters in 451) and Logan's run (i.e. an enforcer in a dystopian world that rebels against its alienation)... but not sure how everything can fall nicely into place... not yet fully satisfied...

    My inspiration comes from a mix of Fahrenheit 451 (policemen re-purposed vs. fire fighters in 451) and Logan’s run (i.e. an enforcer in a dystopian world that rebels against its alienation)… but not sure how everything can fall nicely into place… not yet fully satisfied…

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